[SpeCies]

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
> tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and
> he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she >said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, notyour stub."

>

> Let's go for stupid~~
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
> but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
> "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, >they're dead."

>

> Caught for speeding~~
> The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding,
> rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
> The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop >finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

>


> Stuck under a bridge~~
> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
> reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead
> of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
> Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
> around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
> stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and >ran out of gas."

> a Beer!


> Dealing with trouble~~
> A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom
> disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall
> and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could >whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, "I'll bet that >you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini." The giant >nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show >us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why >don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?" Once in the >cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out >of these," the giant growled. "Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The >fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it." "In that case," said >the deputy, "you're under arrest."
>
> Too Late~~
> The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked
> and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped >by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the >officer. "I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give >a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man

>


_________________
http://www.nosmacktards.com

[Mongoose_Slayer]

lol