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New medications available

 
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Bada Bing
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Joined: 17 Sep 2001
Location: Pioneer,Ca. Guild:-TPF-
Posts: 3054

PostPosted: Thu Nov 07, 2002 11:00 am    Post subject: New medications available Reply with quote

New Medications for Women




ST. MOM'S WORT

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by

rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six

hours.



E m p t y N e s t r o g e n

Highly effective suppository that eliminates

melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they

were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they

moved out.



P e p t o b i m b o

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups

swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,

decreases intelligence, and improves flirting



D u m e r o l

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low

I.Q,causing enjoyment of country western music.



F l i p i t o r

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling

road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.



A n t i b o y o t i c s

When administered to teenage girls, is highly

effective in improving grades, freeing up phone

lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.



M e n i c i l l i n

Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases

resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a

better person ... can we get naked now?"



B u y a g r a

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.

Increases potency and duration of spending spree.



Extra Strength Buy-One-all

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an

indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may

even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by

Dr. Laura.



J a c k A s s p i r i n

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember

your birthday, anniversary or phone number.



A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on

anyone too eager to share their life stories with

total strangers.



S e x c e d r i n

More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not

now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.



R a g a m e t

When administered to a husband, provides the same

irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the

wife the time and trouble of doing it herself



And the best:............

D a m i t o l

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up

to 8 hours.
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SpeCies
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Joined: 05 Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina Guild: <TVB>
Posts: 1948

PostPosted: Thu Nov 07, 2002 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL! Bada Bing... Good Jokes
#alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien #alien
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cobra
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Joined: 18 Apr 2002
Location: having fun with Loka and Tickles!
Posts: 6806

PostPosted: Thu Nov 07, 2002 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

where can i buy those??????? LOL
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My Personal Insanity
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Joined: 03 Mar 2002
Location: Salt Lake City GUILD: US-V
Posts: 2627

PostPosted: Fri Nov 08, 2002 2:36 am    Post subject: Re: New medications available Reply with quote

Bada Bing wrote:
D a m i t o l

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up

to 8 hours.


I need this. Take it right before work... aaah...
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