[Bada Bing]

OK here it is the list to end all lists.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
rules from the male side. These are OUR rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! Pass to your partner
for a greater understanding:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
than hort hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married
is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're
stuck with her.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you
think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do
we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care
about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. No, you really do have too many shoes.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's
like camping

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. So there!
_________________

Are you threatening me ???

[Darkath]

LOL, funny stuff. These might actually come in handy someday. I especially agree with "Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!", I hate when girls do that.
_________________

^^^ Clicky

[BitterBeerFace]

LOL, that's so true... every last one of those is true. I think I'll post that prominently just in case any women *EVER* happen to be at my place...

... and I wonder why I get less action than a kilaak at a singles bar....

[`RaphX]

Bada > Gals

[Chan]

So bada hows ............ o nevermind.......


BTW what is hort hair?
_________________

[5th GHG E.G. Mine]

You forgot one! Guys can't count.

But seriously, do not have any other numbered keys besides 1?
_________________
http://www.chronixradio.com

[CyCoMoM]

A note to the women who just might be reading this...

When they use the toilet seat excuse, remind them that there is a lid to the toilet for a reason, USE IT, this does require the seat being lowered first.

Not all men are over bearing jackasses, it's your hair, shave it off if you want, if they can't live with it, maybe they should find their long hair elsewhere.

This isn't the 50's, we all know how to check our oil, change a tire and spark plugs. Just because we know how to do something doesnt' mean we have to do it.

If your asking your man if your fat, see a theripist.

If he wont ask for directions, you really don't want to spend your life getting lost with him.

What the heck is mauve?

When they refuse to help you pick out your clothes for the company dinner, dress like a Hoe, usually they fake a headache and you'll be able to stay home.

Why ask them what they are thinking when you KNOW it's about mindless crap. Studies have proven that men's brains just are not as advanced as the ladies.

Last but not least... stop dating Losers!!!!!! Once a Loser, always a Loser. When you marry these creaps, your sons end up just like them and your daughters get the message that it's ok to marry Losers. You do not NEED a man for anything.

With all my love....

CyCoMoM

[5th GHG E.G. Mine]

Oh, I can just see this becoming a battle of the sexes topic. Let's just start building the coffin for Bada now. But does he want it in Red or Blue?

[CyCoMoM]

He can just have the cremation coffin, they are cardboard.

[CyC0Dad]

And don't blame me for liberating her, she was liberated when I met her


shhh: some of those were pretty funny though.

[The Nanite]

[Clay Pigeon]

Just because you have 2 X chromosomes doesnt automatically make you right

[Bright Red Nipples]

As much as I want to stand up and say w00t, I am married. I would like to show my wife this thread however, like I said, I'm married. I wouldn't be able to handle the 17 month headache.

OK she left the room. Bada

[Goldom]

I don't know what mauve is. I really don't.

[CyCoMoM]