Jokes from Alabama

John Doe · Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2001 5:07 pm Post subject:

Ok, these were emailed to me, and were picking on Canadians. I thought I would pick on my buds in Alabama, they are in jest!!!

How do you know when your staying in a Alabama hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink" and The person at the front desk says, "go ahead."

How can you tell if an Alabama redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Alabama to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Alabama?
A documentary.

How many rednecks does it take to eat a deer?
Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic.

Where was the toothbrush invented?
Alabama. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.

An Alabama State Cop pulled over a pickup truck on the Highway. He asked the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says "Bout what?"

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
Nearly everyone has the same DNA.

Did you hear that the Govorners's house in Huntsville, Burned Down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

Two Alabamians are walking down different ends of a street toward each
other, and one is carrying a bag. When they meet, one says "Hey Tommy
Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guess how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmmmmm . . . five?"

An Albamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house
is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have them big red trucks?"

Why do folks in Alabama go to the movies theater in groups of 18 or more?
'Cuz 17 and under not admitted

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ROOFCUTTER · Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2001 5:14 pm Post subject:

did you hear about the Alabama man who was trying hard and praying every night to win the lottery. after 6 months God finially screamed "meet me half way" Buy a ticket.

JD made me do this!

EliotRosewater · Registered User Joined: 08 Nov 2001 Posts: 11

Alabama Jokes:

George Wallace

The college named after George Wallace

The lack of a state lottery

The lack of bare breasts(sans pasties) in Huntsville strip clubs

And last but not least....

THE 2001 CRIMSON TIDE FOOTBALL TEAM!

EliotRosewater · Registered User Joined: 08 Nov 2001 Posts: 11

Crimson Tide = Monthly Vaginal Discharge?

The Bloody Tampons will fall next weekend.

EliotRosewater · Registered User Joined: 08 Nov 2001 Posts: 11

WWWAAAAARRRRRRRRRR EAGLE!

[ This Message was edited by: EliotRosewater on 2001-11-13 18:25 ]

John Doe · Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2001 6:50 pm Post subject:

Roll Tide!!!

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EliotRosewater · Registered User Joined: 08 Nov 2001 Posts: 11

LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMMMMBLLLE!

I went to Nashville and saw the Titans play last night. Standing in line for the $6 cups of beer and watching the jackasses in the stands were more entertaining than the game.

Oh, and by the way...

The food at the Nashville Hooters is actually GOOD!