[Spam]

Greetings and salutations to all of those who frequent the Ville forums, My name is Spam. Yes im sure you have heard of me, the tasty not quite meat, not quite anything, that comes in a can and can be made into numerous different meals, luncheon food. Ive come here unfortuatly on an unhappy note, so I will get to the point.

With the recent PC boom and mass usage of email, Forums and usenet groups, me and my families lives have become a living hell. As im sure you no doubt already know "Spam" is now what people call mass emails or rambling posts of nothingness and I dont think I have to tell you all that this is most definetly a very negative thing. Im not sure why exactly people chose my name to describe this horrific phonomenon, but never the less, whats done is done and I have to live in infamy as the one who shares the name with such a heanous and deplorable act, that happens all to often this day and age.

Id like to give you a little bit of background information so those of you can get to know me.

I was born in 1926 as Sigmund Phillip Agustus Monroe, in Austin, Minnesota. My parents were Dutch immigrants who had came to America just 2 years prior, to escape poverty stricken Europe, which was still feeling the after effects of WWI. My father worked odd jobs for money and my mother stayed at home to care for me and my younger sister. The age of eleven I took on odd jobs to help my father with the bills which where always piling up due to his lack of work. We lived a meager life but we were happy because we were together. One day in january I was shoveling snow off a pond for a man so him and his friends could play there weekly ice hockey game. The temperature outside was a balmy 22 degrees below zero, but I diligently worked away for the .50 cents to bring home to my family, when I was approached by a man that would change my life forever, His name was George Hormel..

George came up to me and said "your a very hard worker, I like that", "youve inspired me for my greatest invention ever, it will be a food thats created with the hardworking man in mind, a food that will never go bad, a food that is neither meat nor vegatable, and I shall call it SPAM"

And there you have it on that day in 1937, Spam was born. Its been a great run for the past 65 years, Ive seen many presidents come and go, numerous wars, and ive even saw mankind put a man on the moon. Its been a great run and in my humble opinion. I think ive done well to preserve the wholesome goodness that is Spam, but alas I cannot do it all alone now, I need the help of the computer generation to step forward and say: "Im not going to let the evil Spammers of the computer age tarnish something so reputable and decent as the single greatest Lunchmeat ever invented, Im going to stand up for the rights of an innocent man who has so unjustly been mocked and marred by the wrong doings of the computer ettiquite lacking lamers, and do my part to put an end to the debachery that is COMPUTER SPAM!!!"

So as a plea to everone who reads this post please, the next time you see someone spamming or even think about it yourself, remind them that behind there seeming innocent useless posting, there is an innocent man of the same name who is suffering.

Thank you for your time.

Sigmund, AKA Spam
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If it's not meat and its not Soy, then it must be SPAM

[bobins]

well i met you the other night -- n u drugged my food n made me spam sh*t outta the forum

dam u -- im never leaving my food unattended again
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[Spam]

Hello there, Bobbins is it??

As you can see from the post above I am not that person and all I want is to distance myself from this phenomenon and get my life back, Please do your part to help out.

Thank you
Sigmund AKA Spam
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If it's not meat and its not Soy, then it must be SPAM

[three_gunn]

Sigmund Spam...i will gladly take part in any event to help resolve this terrible misunderstanding and mockery of the name you, your family and your friends have been proudly wearing for all these years...so that we, the consumers, can continue to pull that silver tab you bare with pride and enjoy a high cholesterol, yet delectable meal without thinking twice about any false representations...

rawk on spam....you scrumptious piece of meat, you.

[Wood]

Sigmund,

What a terribly tragic story. I feel for you.

I can't think of a more undesirable name to carry in the current climate of SPAM in our email, SPAM in the forums, and SPAM on our telephones (during dinner even! Razzle frazzle!).

Unless of course, if your name was Llama... or Noob... or Schmagina....




or Wood...
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[EagleEyes]

I would gladly help you out sigmund, but I don't really like spam. So, yeah...
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[Da Omega Snipa]

[Snaggletooth]

www.spam.com

The actual Spam website.
If you'd read up on what you taunt...you'd learn something.

[hoaxie]

Dear Lord in Heaven!! Don't you people get it?! People are trying in a nice and amusing way to tell people to cut the freegin' crap! And every single thread that was posted with good intention to discuss the overrun of spam (or should I say the freegin blathering BS) has in fact been spammed... It isn't funny, it isn't cute. Cut the crap! There are threads that are appropriate for this. Why is it so difficult to understand? If you feel compelled to spam for spam's sake... go to the off topic thread and spam your lil @$$3$ off. Stay out of the threads that have been posted to engage one another in intellectual, witty, and stimulating conversation. Get a freegin clue!

Whew... sorry.

*shakes head and walks away*
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LONG LIVE THE 'VILLE!

[`RaphX]

{Off-Topic}

Hmm... Hehe... I let off some steam in a similar way tonight. I told my assistant at the shop that, basically, she sux0rz. Man, she wasn't pleased. She must be in her late 40s, perhaps, while I'm 20, which is part of the problem. You try to be polite about something you have to say, until eventually you have to say "Right, stop taking the |>!$$" Although I do feel rather good now that I have finally asserted myself (= a bad thing, probably)

{On-Topic}

I'm certain that most people did understand the point of this thread, but decided to take things a step further and continue to Spam a "Please don't do that" thread. That = bad manners.
Also, Quote + Submit is not really in the spirit of the Off-Topic thread that we all know and love.

[three_gunn]

[hoaxie]

It wasn't you 3G. LOL

What you said was amusing and clever.

HAHAHAHA, I am so sorry, 3G! I am ROFLMAO.
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LONG LIVE THE 'VILLE!

[three_gunn]