The Common Haggis

Greebo · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 9:38 pm Post subject: The Common Haggis

Was having a conversation with Dahak and it became clear he didn't know what a haggis was.
So for the benifit of everyone I shall educate you all.

The common haggis is native to the highlands of scotland.
It is an incredibly tall animal - but it has a tiny body. Most of it height is made up by leg.
Yes I mean leg.
For it has 1 short leg and 1 long leg - this enables it to scurry around mountains far easier (with one leg at a different height to the other). It can reach the height of a fully grown elephant though.
Now in scotland there is a glorious tradition.
As part of hogmany (scotlands celebrations of new year on dec 31st). Many many people head up to the highlands for the annual haggis cull.

You see, the haggis isn't particularly dangerous, yet it is incredibly easy to kill.
What you have to do is get slightly higher up the mountain than the haggis.
This done you then grab it, and turn it around.
The haggis finds itself with the long leg, up the mountain and the shortleg dangling in midair, and the creature topples down the mountain to its death.

So there you have it - the common haggis.
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ToRaK · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 9:41 pm Post subject:

So what's the uncommon haggis?

ToRaK
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Greebo · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 9:53 pm Post subject:

Ah well that's an urban variety - it's extremely rare
Similar concept but it's found running around blocks of flats instead of mountains.
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Snaggletooth · Guest

I thought Haggis was some sort of Scottish meal made from sheep heads?

Greebo · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 10:05 pm Post subject:

Nah, that's a common mistake made by tourists.
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Snaggletooth · Guest

Dr.Lucky · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 10:20 pm Post subject:

It sounds like a similar tradition the we have in the US. only we call them snipes, I believe their a kind of snake or lizzard.
You have to drive out to the woods in the middle of nowhere with a buddy. then with a pillow case and a flashlight you walk around in the woods until you find one(meanwhile your friend gets in the truck and leaves).

I haven't been snipe hunting, but I'm close to taking my little brothers.

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Dahak · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 10:23 pm Post subject:

Ktulu · Posted: Thu May 02, 2002 10:24 pm Post subject:

Snag you have become really funny lately.

I thought haggis was some wierd fish from Scotland... Really!

gindapoo · Posted: Fri May 03, 2002 12:29 pm Post subject:

Actually a snipe is a type of bird (this is really true), commonly found wading in the edges of small ponds, searching for small lizards, frogs and such to eat.

I have taken a bunch of young boy scouts snipe hunting with their pillowcases and flashlights, and those silly guys got lost in the dark and couldn't find their way back to the van.

(They still insist the van was parked somewhere else when they walked into the woods.)

The Nanite · Posted: Fri May 03, 2002 1:10 pm Post subject:

Everyone is wrong. Anyone who grew up in Europe knows Haggis is made from Snipes.

or maybe fish?

SoDum · Posted: Fri May 03, 2002 1:12 pm Post subject:

Haggis is a food. It's made from like, livers, kidneys and other internal organs of sheep. Or maybe i'm a common tourist, and mistaken.

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MunkeyEye · Posted: Fri May 03, 2002 1:27 pm Post subject:

I have no clue what a haggis is but in the last few short minutes, I've been confused, lied to, misdirected, and confused further!

http://www.haggishunt.com/pedia.cfm

Greebo · Posted: Sun May 05, 2002 2:10 pm Post subject:

*Grins*

Time to come clean I guess
The above is B/S
It's a common joke here given out to all foreigners who are liable enough to fall for it.

It is a meal made from various bits of sheep which I hate :-p

I did this cos of this conversation in IRC (Chernobyl is Dahal):

<Greebo> The common haggis is a wonderful creature
<Greebo> got one leg shorter than the other
* cstone looks up haggis in the scot-to-eng dictionary
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> leprechauns!
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> oh wait.. that's irelnad...
<Greebo> so it can run around mountains
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> do you wear kilts?
<Greebo> can easily be killed though
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> skirts
<Greebo> you turn it around and it topples over
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> how big is it?
<Greebo> no I don't wear kilts
<Greebo> the haggis?
<cstone> hehe - im gonna try to go to scotland on some learn abroad thing someday
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> yeah
<Greebo> can be as tall as a fully grown elephant
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> ...
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> wtf
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> what is a haggis anyways
<Greebo> but it's mostly legs
<Greebo> the main body is small
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> geeez
<Greebo> well....at least one leg is that tall
<Greebo> the other is short as I say, so it can round around mountains
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> sounds like an animal from my nightmares
<Greebo> nah they aren't dangerous
*** Mich is now known as Mich`Writeuptimegoaway
<Greebo> as I said it's really easy to kill em
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> oh
*** [CSI]Paddyjack`QC-VS has quit IRC (cya later buddies)
<Greebo> every year on january 1st there's a national haggis hunt
<Greebo> and we all go out and try and kill as many as possible
<cstone> what kind of weapons?
<Greebo> by turning them around and toppling them
<|away> you murderers!!
<cstone> hahaha
<Greebo> nah - gotta use your bare hands
<Greebo> what you do is , you get higher up the mountain than they are
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> damn
<|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> you scots are scary
<cstone> ive GOT to see that
<Greebo> so you can grab their body and face them the wrong way
* Greebo grins
<Greebo> you guys will buy anything you know
<|away> Hrmm,, u guys are weird
<Greebo> there is no such creature
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cstone · Posted: Sun May 05, 2002 5:45 pm Post subject: Prelude to the above

I thought the chat before that were pretty funny too:

[22:56] <Greebo> some of us are still not on broadband dontcherknow
[22:56] <|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> :/
[22:56] <|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> do they even have broadband in scotland?

[22:56] <Greebo> in bigger cities :-p
[22:56] <|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> haha
[22:56] <Greebo> but rarely in rural area
[22:56] <cstone> the sheep carry the data packets i think...
[22:57] <|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> you're in the "braveheart" area aren't ya?

[22:57] <Greebo> nonono - that's a lie, it's the haggis creatures taht do that
[22:57] <cstone> heheeh
[22:57] <Greebo> The common haggis is a wonderful creature
[22:57] <Greebo> got one leg shorter than the other
[22:57] * cstone looks up haggis in the scot-to-eng dictionary
[22:57] <|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> leprechauns!
[22:57] <|RE|-CHeRNoBYL> oh wait.. that's irelnad...
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