Darwin Awards!

BitterBeerFace · Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2002 11:51 am Post subject:

I posted a link to The Darwin Awards website in a different thread, but after reading some of them again, I decided it's a site great enough to deserve it's own thread!

The premise of the Darwin Awards is that they are awarded (usually posthumously) to individuals or groups who have helped advance the cause of human development by killing themselves in stupid and embarassing ways, thus removing their obviously defective genes from the gene pool.

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2002 4:14 pm Post subject:

That's some funny stuff BBF. I don't know if this one would qualify since he was trying to commit suicide at the time, but it's pretty funny!

This guy was standing on a cliff with a noose (a rope used to hang people for those who don't know) around his neck, which was tied to a sturdy rock. He then took some poisen pills, grabbed his gun, and lit himself on fire. Afterwards, he jumped off the cliff and tried to shoot himself. Except he missed the shot to his head and instead the bullet hit the rope and broke it. So he has now failed twice to kill himself

Because the rope is not attached anymore, he plummets into the water below, causing the fire to extinguish. After crawling out of the water, his body (being smarter then his mind) throws up the poisen. So now our friend has failed to commit suicide 4 times in a row....
He faints almost immediatly after coming out of the water and is found by some people about a minute later. Seeing that he is burned and such, they call 911 and he is taken to the hospital. Before he gets there though, he dies of hypothermia. Pretty sad, isn't it? Especially knowing that he could've drowned himself after the fall!

BitterBeerFace · Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2002 5:55 pm Post subject:

OMFG! Someone replied, I was worried that my post was gonna go the way of the people "honored" by a Darwin award

If you have any "proof" of that suicide attempt, you should submit it to the site, they'd almost assuredly give that guy "honorable mention" for trying sooooooooooooo hard to weed himself out of our gene pool!

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2002 7:16 pm Post subject:

I would submit it, but the only proof I have is a book one of my friends brought to school one day. I can't remember the title of it, but I'm pretty sure it was in "DUH! Stupid actions and sayings of humans"

Oh well, I still think it's funny

I also have plenty of funny stories from assorted books like that, though no one dies in them. Here's a short one from an idiot most likly still in the gene pool today.

2 detectives get a call and go to this guys house. He says there's been a robbery and the detectives are ready to investigate. Before starting though, they ask him what was stolen. Stupidly, he replys "Someone stole my stash of marijuana!"
The dectectives just look at each other. One of them asks "Are you openly admitting to having illegal drugs?"
Of course, now realizing his error, the man sits down, rather flustered. He looks up to the detectives, obviously woried, but replys "Uhh...No!" anyway.
Since they didn't find any evidence or such, the detectives just leave and have a good laugh at how stupidity is still in the gene pool today.