[Whybkuul]

You may have read this before, but it's still funny!

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone !! Don't take that bad day out on someone you KNOW, take it out on someone you don't know.

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when i remembered a phone call i had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello ?" I politely said, This is Patrick Hanifin and could i please speak to Robin Carter ?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me ! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After i hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still
lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass !" and hung up. Next to this phone number i wrote the word "jackass", and put it in my drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when i was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "Your'e a jackass !" It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the
jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello", i made up a name, "Hi, this is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"

He said, "No! and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass !" The reason i took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.

[Keep reading, it get's better]

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black camaro came flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I start honking my horn and yelling,"you can't just do that, buddy, i was here first !". The guy climbed out of his camaro completely ignoring me. He walked towards the mall as if he didn't even hear me.

I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then i hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling the jackass and yelling, "you're a jackass !" (it's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black camaro lying on my desk and thought i'd call this guy too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "hello". I said, "is this the man with the black camaro
for sale?" "yes, it is", "can you tell me where I can see it ?" "yes, i
live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front". I said "what's your name?" My name is Don Hansen". When's a good time to catch you Don?" I'm home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can i tell you something?" "yes", "Don you're a jackass !" and I slammed the
phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when i had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoying as it used to be. I gave the
problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First i had my phone dial Jackass # 1 . A man answered nicely saying, "hello". I yelled "you're a jackass !", but i didn't hang up
The jackass said, "are you still there?" I said, "yeah"

He said "stop calling me" i said "no" He said what's your name, pal ? I said "Don Hansen" He said "where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street, It's a yellow house and my black camaro's parked out front." "I'm coming over right now, Don. "You better start saying your prayers !" "Yeah, like i'm really scared, jackass !" and i hung up. Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "hello". I said, "hello jackass !" He said, "if i ever find out who you are...." You'll what ? "I'll kick your ass"
Well here's your chance, I'm coming over right now jackass !" and i hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them i was at 1802 West 34th Street and that i was gong to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.

Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down West 34th Street . After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious ! watching two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life !

_________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" -Ben Franklin

[Enrico]

This might be a bit niave, but that didnt really happen did it??? But it was a funny story!

[PondScum007]

haha...thats quite a setup...and i think you would do something like that whub, but im kinda doubting...

_________________

[Whybkuul]

just to clear this up, I didn't do this... i read it somewhere and thought it was funny as hell, so i posted it here

[ROOFCUTTER]

I think you read it here just last week!
Its in here somewhere. Funny story.

[Whybkuul]

yea, i was thinkin i may have originally read it here, but wasn't sure.. i just re-discovered it here

_________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" -Ben Franklin

[Computer]

That is really funny, some people deserve to be in situations like that. Although I'm far from a pacifist and I end up talking my ass in to more trouble that I can deal with. Very funny I'm gonna keep it in mind, atleast the calling someone and calling them a Jackass thing.

_________________
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."