[John Doe]

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked,
"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.



If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus . so shut the hell up
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[Stevo]

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The Official TVR Website
Fopp
Song of the Week

[ROOFCUTTER]

those are bitterly funny...:p
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Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[StrontiumDog]

[=SG=ComptonEMT.TVR]

the las one kicks ass

[ReDsKiN]

[preacherman]

As I have the perfect wife I don't really understand these statements

BTW - wife standing behind me with rolling pin in hand

I sure u know what I mean - all been there!!! - lol
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Thank U again StrontiumDog for Sig

[The Tiju]

that last one was hilarious...
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"Never Fear The Tiju is Here"

[Canadian Rifle]

you kno there 3 rings to marriage... engagment ring...the wedding ring...and the SUFFERING!!!! lol
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[riggormortis]

LMAO Whoa those were great, My wife heard me reading them.
I think I m done for.

Riggor
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"One Hitter Quiter"

[preacherman]

[Agent X]

Good stuff! I think just about everyone of us that are married can relate to that

[Mad-Hammer]

[StrontiumDog]

Jokes...what jokes...hehe...
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"Oh Smeg! What the smeg's he smegging done? He's smegging killed me!" Lister, Red Dwarf

[l3eeron]