Some people are idiots

shockwave · Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 7:28 pm Post subject: Some people are idiots

Spelling Errors and Wrong Notes

A man walked into the downtown Bank of America and on the back of a deposit slip wrote, “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, the man began to worry that someone may have seen him write the note and might call the police before he could reach the teller. So, the criminal left the Bank of America and walked across to the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting in line for several minutes there, he handed his note to a teller. After reading it, the teller determined that this robber was perhaps a few sandwiches short of a picnic. She told him that because his note was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, she could not honor his demand. He would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo withdrawal slip or go back to the Bank of America. Feeling defeated, the man said he understood and left. The Wells Fargo teller promptly called the police, who arrested the man a few minutes later–still waiting in line at the Bank of America.

Do I Hear One Dollar?

A trio of men decided to commit a bank robbery. The group tried to enter, but got stuck in the revolving doors. Frustrated, they left and returned a few minutes later. This time, they penetrated the doors and announced their intentions to take ten thousand dollars. Remembering them from a few minutes earlier, customers and employees of the bank laughed hysterically, thinking it was a joke. The men thought that people were laughing because they were demanding too much money. Eventually, the men reduced the amount of money they wished to take to one thousand dollars. When that didn’t work, they demanded one hundred dollars. Soon, the men were demanding one dollar each. When the laughter continued, one of the men became angry. He jumped atop the counter and pulled a gun on the teller; he fell and broke his leg. The other two man decided to get away while it was safe. They, however, once again got stuck in the revolving doors.

50% off sale

Kidnappers abducted Gildo Santos near his factory in a suburb of Sao Paulo and demanded $690,000 for ransom. Santos, however, escaped. The next day, Santos got a phone call asking for $11,500 to defray the cost of the abduction. After negotiating a 50 percent reduction, Santos called police, when the abductors showed up to collect payment.

I’m 21!

A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.

Wrong Tire

A man had a flat tire and pulled over on the highway to change it. A police officer pulled up behind him to give him cover. The man changed the tire and got in his car when the police turned on his sirens. The man was arrested for DUI. The police did not realize he was drunk until he changed the wrong tire.

Glass Eyes

A man was pulled over for suspicion of DUI. The officer had him walk the white line to prove his sobriety. After the man stumbled about, he explained to the officer that he could not walk straight because he had a glass eye. Suspecting the man was lying, the officer asked the man which of his eyes was the glass. The man replied, “Both of them.”
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