12 Shots

shockwave · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:23 pm Post subject: 12 Shots

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

shockwave · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:23 pm Post subject:

Poor Couple

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

shockwave · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:25 pm Post subject:

A policeman stops a car and suggests an apparently drunken fellow to take a breath test. He blows, the thing shows: positive. He protests, cries he is a teetotaler and that the instrument isn't working properly. He says his wife is also a teetotaler. She blows- again positive. Then he gives it to their little kid on the backseat- also positive! The ashamed policeman lets them go.

They take off and the man says to his wife:
- And you kept telling me: don't give the kid any alcohol, don't give the kid any alcohol!!

Jfet Zener · Server Admin Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 3353

spammy. but good ones. should we maybe start an official joke thread where all jokes from here on out will be posted? eh... mebe a jokes forum. i dunno. ive just seen alot of jokes recently.

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:49 pm Post subject:

4 men walk into a bar. 3 come out. Coinidence? I think not.
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Stevo · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:49 pm Post subject:

Maybe just put consecutive jokes in one post as a start.

Anyway, #Rofl

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Speaker's Xeno · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:42 pm Post subject:

lol
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Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:40 am Post subject:

A man walked into a bar. . . he knocked himself unconcious.
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Bull · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 9:16 am Post subject:

There was a contest for swimming the channel using the breast stroke. The three swimmers was a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After 14 hours, the brunette staggered on to the beach at the finish and was declared the winner. 40 min later, the redhead crossed the finish line.
Some 4 hours later, the blonde, totally ehausted, crawls up to the finish line. One of the reporters asked her what took her so long..

She wispered, "I don't want to say anything, but I think the others cheated."
"How so?" inquired the reporter.
"Well, I could have sworn that I saw both of them using their arms.."

;>)

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Violent Pacifist · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:57 am Post subject:

3 guys walk into a bar. The 4th one ducked.
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CarbinE · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:39 pm Post subject:

Hear about the 3 car pileup?

30 mexicans died
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shovelnose · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:57 pm Post subject:

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:11 pm Post subject:

Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:35 pm Post subject:

Gurrg · Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 8:47 pm Post subject:

Well if the Helen Keller jokes were allowed i'd probably say this one:

How do you make Helen Keller scream? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
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