Advice for You

Speaker's Xeno · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:55 pm Post subject:

i feel that you are making a mistake because you said she was insecure so if you break it off with her wont she still feel that it is her fault in some way, shape, or form?

ive been through this kind of situation although mine didnt get as far as sex i told my girl the truth and was forgiven. but i am using my own personal experiance for this and my girl wasnt like yours she was very secure about herself(i mean you have to be in order to take your shoes off in a movie theater and put them on the ground i mean d@mn i cant even do that) but i guess my advice to you would be dont break it up if you care for her enough let her know what happened and ask for her forgiveness. but there are many factors to play into this and i dont know them all so my only adive to you that i hope you will take to heart is

do what your heart and soul tell you to. and whatever the outcome is we pray that they are good

_________________
[img]http://users.tvr-guild.org/speaker/speakersays.php[/img]

vTEC · Server Admin Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Posts: 1495

the mrs...says she'd slap the shit out of you
_________________
I am TheCheat

Gurrg · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:04 pm Post subject:

Jack, believe it or not, i JUST went through the same thing, and i did exactly what you did. I broke up with her and later she found out that i had sex with another girl (who is now my girlfriend, sexy.) She blew up, it was insane it's been about a month and a half and she still texts me, she thinks it was her fault and all this, but i keep telling her it was after we broke up. then the whole 'you just threw everything we had away' ya, it's hell, but i'm getting through, and no one died. GL Jack, girls are very unexplainable, i'm sure a lot of you know what i'm talking about. If/when she finds out, i hope it works out for the best. The hardest thing is, seeing you're ex everyday and knowing what you did, it sucks, big time. The way that you felt to know that they couldn't trust you anymore, it hurts. I know what you're going through, IM if you wish, i'll go into details

GL
_________________

The Ville-Addict----BR Site \/

JtH · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:17 pm Post subject:

Well its glad to know that someone else knows what im going through exactly. And vtec, tell the mrs. i deserve it.

And speaker, i could tell her what happened and possibly stay with her, but i cant do that. I know she would never trust me the same again and she has every right not to. I couldnt live with myself and be with her after telling her that, even if she forgives me. She deserves better then me and i accept that. I have to, what else can i do?
_________________

Speaker's Xeno · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject:

i didnt want to tell you the second part but yeah thats pretty much how i felt after i told her and she forgave me she didnt forget and a couple weeks later we broke up....but your a good man and i hope the best for the both of you
_________________
[img]http://users.tvr-guild.org/speaker/speakersays.php[/img]

The Nanite · Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 6:29 am Post subject:

Best solution possible Jack, good job.
_________________

Lhiannan_Shee · Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:10 am Post subject:

Poor girl. If you really do care about her a lot, I think you owe it to her to be honest. Sadly, breaking up with her though, is probably a good decision. No matter what happens (telling her, keeping it a secret, etc), I don't think a relationship can truly recover from that kind of betrayal. I mean,you tell her... and it will always linger in her mind, and make her feel like absolute crap. Plus, I wouldnt trust you not to do it again. You don't tell her.... then what else do you stop telling her? And if you really do have a conscience then you'll have to live with that lie.

Something also caused you to cheat. You need to figure out WHY you did that. It's something YOU need to deal with. The poor girl does not deserve that. Most people don't just cheat once either, and i am sure you had lots of opportunities to get yourself out of that situation, but you made your decision. If she is the right girl for you.... why would you go mess it up like that? You're still young, not married yet.... so I think it would probably be best to end it and start over. Seriously though, don't kid around with that "friends" crap. You hurt the girl enough. Doesn't work. And isn't another girl "friend" the one who got you into that situation? I dont think men can really be just friends with women, unless there is some sort of attraction there.... which leads to....

1/3 married people these days cheats on their spouse at one point. It really disturbs me. In fact, I have knowledge that both of my parents have cheated on one another. They are still together.... usually. Constant fighting, "breaking up", getting back together. It's a big cycle that just keeps repeating itself. Once something like that happens in a relationship, it's hard to get it back on track. Living a lie..... scares me.
_________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaker's Xeno · Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:28 am Post subject:

Lhiannan_Shee · Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:34 am Post subject:

4buckbroke · Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:43 pm Post subject: uh oh

You should tell her
"Im sorry but I cheated on you. I do not want to break up w/ you because blah blah blah..the fact that I cheated on you makes me feel..blah blah blah..I don't feel right being wit you. I hope you understand. It's my fault and I know that and that's why I choose to do this"
Honestly, If I were her I'd slap the shit out of you and dig you a big hole in your own back yard and push you in there.. not my backyard. I do't think you should break up with her because she would think, "he cheated on me and broke up with meeh???!!!"....!! ) you'll be in big butt trouble..( well if i was in her shoes)
Sorrie but this might sound mean but all girls would get mad for this..it's best to tell the truth instead of dumping the girl while you know its your fault..Im saying this in a girl's pt of view and i donno what a guy's pt of view is like but my view is..all guys have only 45% of honestly..i think you shoudl at least keep your last 5% of honesty and tell her the truth w/ out dumping her..for chances she might forgive you..

good luck..

[NoClan]Lunt · Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 8:07 am Post subject:

please pm me both of their phone numbers......you wont need them anymore
_________________
DON'T HUNT WHAT YOU CAN'T KILL......

vTEC · Server Admin Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Posts: 1495

FragFailure · Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:14 pm Post subject:

I think he should both break up with her and tell her. You can do it by saying "I screwed this up and I am not worthy to continue to stay with you because of this." You then put the ball in her court based upon her reactions. She may over time decide to give it another go. Covering up why you broke up with her will still leave you with guilt.

Anyone who tells you to stay in the relationship and not say anything is f'n selfish prick/ho. Stuff like that burns me up. Especially being on the wrong side of the cheating. I went out with a girl who I found out cheated on me. Her denials and lies only made it easier to break up with her. I never was friends with her down the road because I knew she was a liar. These would be the same exact people who quickly accuse the other person of cheating if there was a shadow of a doubt.

I never hope to again end up with a girl (I've met many like this) who think this way. You make the bed and you will lie in it one way or the other at some point. Things do get around at some point. People talk.

I thought Lhiannan's posts were pretty much dead on.
_________________
Yes, I'm still around

- PWG member 2001
- TVB founder and leader 2001-2004
- The Ville's Vegas Bashes I-V
- T.V.L. (Ville TFC League)
- The Originator of the Off-Topic Posts

FragFailure · Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:19 pm Post subject:

The only way a guy and girl can be true friends is if BOTH sides aren't attracted to each other. Otherwise it ends up like "When Harry Met Sally" like. The friendship will either

a- be doomed because someone will and someone won't want it
b- it becomes more than friends and progresses

If one side is attracted. Sex will always be an issue at some point. I've been through a lot and seen a lot. This ain't smoke I'm blowin'.
_________________
Yes, I'm still around

- PWG member 2001
- TVB founder and leader 2001-2004
- The Ville's Vegas Bashes I-V
- T.V.L. (Ville TFC League)
- The Originator of the Off-Topic Posts

shovelnose · Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:38 pm Post subject: