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`RaphX
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Joined: 24 Mar 2002
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 Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 11:44 am Post subject: Cover letters and wine labels |
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I was thinking about what I said in the subject, and managed to link them together rather well, I think:
Who doesn't write all fancy and made-up stuff on job applications without thinking 'what a load of bollocks'? Things like "I hope to inject my own personal dynamicy into the workplace" or "I hope to improve productivity by invigorating the office environment and encouraging better teamwork" We all do it - even on the cover letter I wrote at high school to send away to the university people who would try to find us places, it was things like "I enjoy a combination of working and relaxing, and am good at setting up schedules to be able to fit in both work and pleasure, to make being at university a highly enjoyable experience". Of course, they never called me on that, but noone ever gets called on it.
The other day we were at the liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine, and I realised that the labels on wine bottles do the exact same thing. The two we have in the apartment right now have "A vivacious wine with pleasant body and enveloping bouquet", and "This wine...combines simplicity and grace with power and majesty. It is rich, full-bodied, round and velvety...". I know they have to sell the product, but what a load of crap they come up with.
If ever anyone applied for a job to become a wine-label writer, they woudl have to write more rubbish than ever. "I'm sorry, but you didn't get the job. While your application and interview were filled with honour and good intentions, we were really looking for an ability to produce a bunch of bullshit".
Maybe that person would have to go the whole hog, wear a bright hawaiian shirt, be as camp as it gets and say "As an enthusiastic and vivacious worker, I hope bring my own velvety and full-bodied talents into the workplace and applying my abilities with grace in order to come out smelling like a highly terrific combination of rose, lavendar and ylang-ylang at the end of each and every exciting task".
I would probably be too insulting to be able to do anything like that. |
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PondScum007
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Joined: 20 Dec 2001
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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wise words raph :>
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Stevo
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JtH
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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I could go for some velvety and full bodied wine right now. Maybe i should walk my vivacious a$$ down to the exorbitant store to get some.
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cobra
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Joined: 18 Apr 2002
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 3:52 pm Post subject: Re: Cover letters and wine labels |
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| `RaphX wrote: | I was thinking about what I said in the subject, and managed to link them together rather well, I think:
Who doesn't write all fancy and made-up stuff on job applications without thinking 'what a load of bollocks'? Things like "I hope to inject my own personal dynamicy into the workplace" or "I hope to improve productivity by invigorating the office environment and encouraging better teamwork" We all do it - even on the cover letter I wrote at high school to send away to the university people who would try to find us places, it was things like "I enjoy a combination of working and relaxing, and am good at setting up schedules to be able to fit in both work and pleasure, to make being at university a highly enjoyable experience". Of course, they never called me on that, but noone ever gets called on it.
The other day we were at the liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine, and I realised that the labels on wine bottles do the exact same thing. The two we have in the apartment right now have "A vivacious wine with pleasant body and enveloping bouquet", and "This wine...combines simplicity and grace with power and majesty. It is rich, full-bodied, round and velvety...". I know they have to sell the product, but what a load of crap they come up with.
If ever anyone applied for a job to become a wine-label writer, they woudl have to write more rubbish than ever. "I'm sorry, but you didn't get the job. While your application and interview were filled with honour and good intentions, we were really looking for an ability to produce a bunch of bullshit".
Maybe that person would have to go the whole hog, wear a bright hawaiian shirt, be as camp as it gets and say "As an enthusiastic and vivacious worker, I hope bring my own velvety and full-bodied talents into the workplace and applying my abilities with grace in order to come out smelling like a highly terrific combination of rose, lavendar and ylang-ylang at the end of each and every exciting task".
I would probably be too insulting to be able to do anything like that. |
sorry Raphx, but what you just wrote is crap...... 
that is how you discribe wine. just like you will see on other bottles it will tell you wich flavours you will smell/taste in the wine. like vanilla, strawberry's, and many other fruits and vegetables.....
like in older wines, who aged in "barrique's", you will be able to taste and smell a subtile hint of vanilla.
like in sweeter wines you will find back all sorts of fruit...
like this one:
- This wine...combines simplicity and grace with power and majesty.
it's a simple modest wine but is still a rather heavy and rich wine.
it's rather hard to explain to somebody if they aren't winelovers or in the proffesion......
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Violent Pacifist
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | This wine...combines simplicity and grace with power and majesty.
it's a simple modest wine but is still a rather heavy and rich wine.
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And they can't just say this....why?
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Bright Red Nipples
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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Too many adjectives for me 
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Jfet Zener
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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i agree with you cobra.
and for all those who want to bullshit their resume for a job, id recommend against it. people have been fired many a year later for lying on their resume (mainly about skills, or their last thereof). wouldnt you look dumb when your new boss asks you to do somethign you said you were prficient in on your resume and you just sit there like a moron and admit you dont know how.
yeah, alot of the stuff is enhanced or made to sound better that it is, but dont flat out lie. there is this story i read about an employer who was going through resumes and recognized a familiar one. the same guy applied a year or so prior, and the boss noticed on the new resume all his job titles were much better and his salaries were higher. needless to say he obviously didnt get promoted from all his ex-jobs, and didnt get the new one he applied for. |
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John Doe
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 5:13 pm Post subject: Re: Cover letters and wine labels |
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| `RaphX wrote: |
The other day we were at the liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine |
OMG !!!!! 
Raphx, I thought you were a tue Scottsman, this living in Eastern Canada is brainwashing you of your heritage!
If your at the liquor store there are only two things I would expect you to be looking for, one would be a good Whiskey and the other would be Ale (aka beer).
If your buying wine and reading the labels then we have a serious problem here, the only wine a man should be purchasing is something cheap with a screwtop that he hopes he can use to get the G/F a little tipsy with so he can stand a chance of getting lucky that night.
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Kahlan Amnell
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Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Location: work...ahhhhh
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 5:25 pm Post subject: Re: Cover letters and wine labels |
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| John Doe wrote: | | the only wine a man should be purchasing is something cheap with a screwtop that he hopes he can use to get the G/F a little tipsy with so he can stand a chance of getting lucky that night. |
poor guys....need to get her tipsy in order to even stand a chance??
awwww
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`RaphX
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Joined: 24 Mar 2002
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| Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Jfet Zener wrote: | | and for all those who want to bullshit their resume for a job, id recommend against it. people have been fired many a year later for lying on their resume (mainly about skills, or their last thereof). wouldnt you look dumb when your new boss asks you to do somethign you said you were prficient in on your resume and you just sit there like a moron and admit you dont know how. |
I was going more for what people write in terms of workplace atmosphere (words like 'inject', 'invigorate' etc) rather than experience and ability ('Experience in C++', '6 years at dance school' etc).
| John Doe wrote: | Raphx, I thought you were a tue Scottsman, this living in Eastern Canada is brainwashing you of your heritage!
If your at the liquor store there are only two things I would expect you to be looking for, one would be a good Whiskey and the other would be Ale (aka beer). |
Believe it or not, I don't like either of those. I'm not very good at this whole being-a-Scotsman thing  Back home, there was only one kind of beer I ever liked (Belhaven Best, to give it a name).
But really, drinking whisky and other such spirits are what make so many Scots look so dour-faced - the facial resistance they have to give the horrible taste ends up being imbedded in their faces because of the draught that comes through when someone opens the door to come into the pub and causes their expressions to stay like that. |
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