[John Doe]

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way. . . but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking for the highly prized shoes.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a decent price!" The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, y'all just go and give it a try, why don'cha! "

The blonde turned on her heel and headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch herself an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature, and, with a great deal of effort, hauls it onto the slimy swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more dead alligators. The shopkeeper stands on the bank and watches this scenario in amazed silence.

Just then, the blonde struggles and flips the gator on its back. Then, rolling her eyes heaven-ward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out, "Damn! This one is barefoot, too!"
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[John Doe]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says:

"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, asshole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person… because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large… all in the name of humour".

Flustered, the ventriloquist starts to apologise, when the blonde pipes up, "You f*ckin' stay out of this mister, I'm talking to the little bastard on your knee!"
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