Differences between Republicans, Democrats and John Doe

John Doe

How do you tell the difference between Democrat, Republican, and John Doe?

Scenario:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat response:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? hat about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative response:

BANG!

John Doe's response:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....Reload...
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
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Jfet Zener · Server Admin Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 3353

haha. i think JD's response is the typical texan response too.

KAMIKAZE MadMax · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 10:56 am Post subject:

WOOT on the Texan response....MWAHAHA Wait didn't you reload and fire one more clip? I can't remember...lol #Beer

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Jfet Zener · Server Admin Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 3353

KAMIKAZE MadMax · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 11:13 am Post subject:

Yeah I think I have to agree with that one! lol #Beer

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shovelnose

Bright Red Nipples · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:41 pm Post subject:

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God Bless You Blue Ruler

Blown

ROOFCUTTER · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:07 pm Post subject:

Well the California response would be....who the hell would be walking!
damn backwards easterners....and Kanuks...

use your SUV and run them down!

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Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:11 pm Post subject:

Ten · Registered User Joined: 12 Feb 2004 Posts: 636

Yep, that's Alberta for ya: Canada's own Texas.

Go anywhere else and you'll find the most liberal hippies on Earth. Canada is for the most part a very liberal, socialist kind of place.

And not to be a disrespectful, but that 'joke' is beyond retarded. To say that the world's problems are most easily solved by firing 10 rounds into 'the bad guys' is straight from the Alabama trailer part textbook IMHO. People who choose to communicate usually aren't that stupid... natural selection tends to kill them off if they are.

kubrick

ROOFCUTTER

Jfet Zener · Server Admin Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 3353