Online Confession

Chen Kenichi · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:07 pm Post subject: Online Confession

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I don't know who the original poster was, but damn LOL.

--Adult content-- *****WARNING***** --Adult content--

Well, I debated all day whether I should share with all of you what happened to me last night, so since I can't tell my family i'll tell my fellow juicing family my story. Ok so yesterday was my cheat day. Probably put away about 8k cals including a lot of alcohol last night. Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night. She's 19, so still a little on the immature side, but im only 21 so its all good. Anyway i've talked to this girl a few times before, and to make a long story short I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed, didnt bang her, but did pretty much everything else. So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life. All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers. I must have passed out about 10min after she did around 3am. I wake up at about 8am to piss and I find myself covered in shit. Im thinking WTF, and what happened was I shit myself when I was sleeping. It was all over the bed, sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world. She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of ther hammies. I get dressed and leave LOL This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. Anyway, im really gonna have to avoid her and I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her
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5th GHG E.G. Mine · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:18 pm Post subject:

Considering I know people who'd do that, I can't say I find it all that funny. Sorry Chen.
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shockwave · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:18 pm Post subject:

you are one sick bastard.

Really quick thinking.
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Osama Bin Fluffy · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:19 pm Post subject:

you have got to be kidding me, there is no way this actually happend but if it did my god, that's the funniest thing i've ever heard but you know what? thats what you get for cheating L O freakin L

Speaker's Xeno · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 12:03 am Post subject:

sick dude just plain wrong

...anyways like shocky said quick thinking
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Jfet Zener · Server Admin Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 3353

LOL!!! thats so fudging funny. personally i woulda been like 'hey, im gonna go and get some protection, cause i know we are gonna have fun.' and gone and taken a dump then come back. man, thats why i hate when i have the runs cause i know itll always come at the most inopportune times.

edit: changed the word from ****ing to fudging...

YourPowersAreWeakOldMan · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 2:07 am Post subject:

The only time I've heard of that happening is with Heroine addicts. Losing bowel control and all that.

You know this story kinda sounds like a scene from the movie Trainspotting.
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shockwave · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:28 am Post subject:

Paddyjack · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 9:11 am Post subject:

CHen mentions he was not the original poster..... yeah right.

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Jfet Zener · Server Admin Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 3353

Ten · Registered User Joined: 12 Feb 2004 Posts: 636

Wow, that's the most disgustingly clever thing I've read all week.

If I was that guy, the next time I'd run into her I'd do whatever I could to pretend nothing ever happened. If she turns red or something, just shrug it off er something - for the sake of getting laid or not - that's got to be the most embarrassing thing that a chick could ever live through.

There's also this trick that my buddy told me about: if you're ever at someone's house (at a party or something) who you can't stand, take a shit in the toilet tank. It's dubbed "The Top Shelf" or "Top Shelfing the John". The bathroom will reek like hell for a long time until someone has the sense to check the tank - which usually doesn't occur for at least a week or so.

The Nanite · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 4:24 pm Post subject:

*note to self*

never, ever invite Ten Yard over...
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PondScum007 · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:09 pm Post subject:

haah whoa thats nasty
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Stevo · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:28 pm Post subject: