little joke for you guys...

Secret Agent Man · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2002 3:51 pm Post subject:

Heres a little joke have fun....

One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs 0.00." Jeff figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the 0.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the 0.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours; get a lawyer. And.....if you don't stop jerking off, Your elbow will never get better.

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if you think thats a soldier behind you? think
agian, or my knife will be in your back.

aa, oshiete sensei-san

Bada Bing · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 3:04 am Post subject:

LOL that's some funny shit

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GoldenSpy · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 3:05 pm Post subject:

That has to be the weirdest joke I have ever read

GoldenSpy · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 3:05 pm Post subject:

That has to be the weirdest joke I have ever read

Snaggletooth · Guest

Was that the weirest joke you ever read?

OmegaSiN · Registered User Joined: 05 Nov 2001 Posts: 712

That has to be the wierdest joke I've ever read

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OmegaSiN · Registered User Joined: 05 Nov 2001 Posts: 712

That has to be the wierdest joke I've ever read

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ROOFCUTTER · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 3:37 pm Post subject:

75 Ways to Annoy Everybody

1) Pretend to be one of the Bill Gates family. Doesn't matter which.
2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.

3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.

4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.

5) Improvise Italian operas.

6) Gossip about someone to their face.

7) Answer every question with a question.

Repeat yourself constantly.

9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.

10) Repeat yourself constantly.

11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.

12) Repeat yourself constantly.

13) Change what you repeat every now and then.

14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.

15) Change what you repeat every now and then.

16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.

17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.

1

Change what you repeat every now and then.

19) One word: Caffeine.

20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.

21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

22) Using non-existent words like F^B^I
23) Change what you repeat again.

24) Speak in rapid Spanish. but babble

25) Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.

26) When doing number 25, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.

27) Change what you repeat again.

2

You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.

29) Rudely correct everybody's grammar.

30) Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.

31) Pretend to be drunk.

32) Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.

33) Change what you repeat again.

34) Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.

35) Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.

36) Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.

37) Change what you repeat again.

3

For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.

39) Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.

40) Pretend to be high.

41) Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

42) Change what you repeat again.

43) You ARE the lord of the Map. Never forget that.

44) Speak in l33t.

45) Blink rapidly and constantly.

46) Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.

47) Strut.

4

Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.

49) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.

50) Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."

51) Have this list printed on a T-shirt and write above it "Check list for Today." Don't let anybody forget that you have it on.

Brazenly stolden from a web site. Ken or something was the author. Adjusted a little for us.

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GET A LIFE.....HALF-LIFE

[ This Message was edited by: ROOFCUTTER on 2002-01-26 15:48 ]

OmegaSiN · Registered User Joined: 05 Nov 2001 Posts: 712

haha! thats pretty damn funny!

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=Glenn=The_shibby{Frog} · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 4:47 pm Post subject:

haha i got a joke, but wait
you got some updog on your shirt!!!

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Secret Agent Man · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:16 pm Post subject:

thats was good.

_________________
if you think thats a soldier behind you? think
agian, or my knife will be in your back.

aa, oshiete sensei-san

PondScum007 · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2002 11:55 pm Post subject:

LMFAO at the orignal joke