[Bada Bing]

HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?


Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was
invented. It was named
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden".... and thus the
word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couples to be shown in bed together on
prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than
the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska.

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
(now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%.

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of
eleven: $6,400.

The average number of people airborne over the US
any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in
their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived
in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in
battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the horse has all four legs on the
ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of
Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles
Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of
what?
A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the
most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would
you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any
other day of the year?
A. Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on
bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes
the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight,
sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's
father would supply his son-in-law with all he mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was
called the honey month...which we know today as the
honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and
quarts..So in old England, when customers got unruly,
the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and
quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the
phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is
the phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to
lick their elbow.

ONLY AN AMERICAN

The train was very crowded, so a soldier walked the length of the
train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly
adjacent to a well-dressed, middle-aged French lady and was being used by
her little dog. The weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that
seat?"

The French woman looked at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You
Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little
Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but
after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing
the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm
very tired."

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans!
Not only are you rude, but you are also arrogant"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up
the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train, and sat down in the
empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and
chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know,
sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.
You eat holding your fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the
wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the
window!"


When you are having a bad day try this:-

1. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section.

2. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Johnson and
Johnson." Be very sure you get this brand.

3. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the
phone, so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.

4. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and
lie down on your bed.

5. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it
on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

6. Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read
it. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: "Every rectal
thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"

Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I
Do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company."
_________________

Are you threatening me ???

[Azrael]

Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

I especially love the story about the soldier.
_________________
Under construction!!!

[`RaphX]

[Stevo]

_________________

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