Christmas has been cancelled

Bada Bing · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 12:51 pm Post subject: Christmas has been cancelled

Subject: Christmas is Cancelled This Year !

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night...
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better,
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny.
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days - they all are the pits.
They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds,
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads,
I made a ton of yoyo's - No request for them...
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM.

Flying through the air...dodging the trees,
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment.
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason...
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!
_________________

Are you threatening me ???

KillerRoofcutter · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 1:01 pm Post subject:

don't know how to up load the song so here is the lyrics by Weird Al!

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was sick of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain
_________________

PICKACHU GOT OWNED!

Stevo · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:23 pm Post subject:

We don't need this Santa guy! TheVille can overrun all those elves and take over the place!

We have a few people up north like JD, who can be Santa Doe.
_________________

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KillerRoofcutter · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:12 pm Post subject:

Stevo · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 4:06 pm Post subject:

KillerRoofcutter · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 5:37 pm Post subject:

Stevo · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:49 pm Post subject:

ROOFCUTTER · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:54 pm Post subject:

Bright Red Nipples · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 7:14 pm Post subject:

KillerRoofcutter · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 7:43 pm Post subject:

Stevo · Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 8:38 pm Post subject: