Office Christmas Party

John Doe · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 4:00 pm Post subject: Office Christmas Party

OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY
December 1
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree!

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

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December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

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December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director

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December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?

Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director

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December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis
Human Ratraces

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December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians! I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just
sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you
know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

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December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the Hospital. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director

cobra · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 4:23 pm Post subject:

nice one JD!

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GellyRoll · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 4:45 pm Post subject:

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Stevo · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 5:59 pm Post subject:

That is so true....

Anyway, the last one was what I would have done along with the party.
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Blown · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 6:17 pm Post subject:

Ya, we had to change ours to be politicaly correct from Christmas party to End of the Year get together. Even the word party was a problem with a select few.

Verman · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:01 pm Post subject:

That's not too far from the truth.
It's a sad but true commentary on this PC-hyper world.
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[HALO]MasterChief · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:40 pm Post subject:

ugh thats so true.
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Pornstar · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:41 pm Post subject:

Haven't you guys heard, it is now Merry RamaHanuKwanzMas. So Merry RamaHanuKwanzMas everybody!

[HALO]MasterChief · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:47 pm Post subject:

Mike · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 9:35 pm Post subject:

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 9:50 pm Post subject:

I love my school. The district says that we can't celebrate Christmas (any holiday really) in our classes, or call it "Christmas break". This has been going on for more than a few years, but my HS has decided to have some fun

2 of my teachers have small, decorated Christmas trees in their classrooms, and openly refer to our 2 weeks off as Christmas break. Other teachers whom I don't have have done this as well. Even our TV's have little pictures that come up with only a Christmas tree, and display the text "Happy Holidays".
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John Doe · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2003 10:17 pm Post subject:

Thats nothing last Christmas Canada Post ran its commercials and called it Happy Giving Day so as to not offend non Christians....Too bad they offended all the Christians.....

PC can go too far, if your offended get over it as chances are you will be offended again......

I'm a repeat offender, I will offend again! #Beer

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ProudWhiteTrash · Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2003 2:43 am Post subject:

Political Corectness is ruining society as we once knew it. The do gooders are taking over and it utterly pathetic.
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Pornstar · Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2003 4:46 am Post subject:

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2003 9:46 am Post subject: