[Stevo]

Thought this was funny.



After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
***(By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident!!!)***

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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The Official TVR Website
Fopp
Song of the Week

[[HALO]cpt._Keyes]

LOL
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You dont know who I am but you will instantly fall in love with my voice, chances are I will be the best thing you have heard your whole life, I am the voice of the angels.
Coast Guard Radiomen
-K.Jeffrey(cpt_Keyes)

[shockwave]

Here are some others that I got at work.

P: Roaches in galley.
S: Fed and watered roaches.

P: UHF does not work in OFFicial mode.
S: Found short between the headphones.

P: Anti Collision Strobe Intermitently on.
S: Removed and Replaced Side Stick Actuator.

P: Bugs smashed on canopy.
S: Gave bugs coffee and told them to move along.

P: Crew door hard to close.
S: Green suit needs to up his Wheaties intake.

P: Rear cockpit HUD repeater unviewable, looked like squiggly porn.
S: HBO ordered MICAP zero Balance.
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