[ANGELOFDEATH-VS-]

There was this girl who had an obsession with baked beans. She loved beans more than anything even though they did wierd things to her body-------gas------- anyway she met this guy who she deeply fell in love with her. so she had to give up the ultimate sacrifice no more beans.So she does and gets a steady job as a waitress. A year rolls around and its her birthday as have things been going great with her husband she is still off beans.Its her birthday and she comeing home when her car breaks down so she calls her husband saying shes walking home well be a little late.So as shes walking she sees a sign at a resturaunt ALL YOU CAN EAT BAKED BEANS.So she thinks i can eat the beans and the effects will wear off by time i get home. BUT it didnt as she gets home she is still blasting farts. Her husband runs out and says i have a suprise and blindfolds her and takes her inside.He sists her down at the dinner table and just as hes about to remove the blind fold the phone rings he says ill be right back honey.This is an oppertunity for her to get the rest out.So she tilts to one side and blast one grabbing the napkin and wafting the air with it.BLAM another one this one smelt of a skunk runover by a monuer truck so she does this several times until all the gas is gone.she hears her huband say nice talking to you good bye.She sets down the napkin looking very plzed with herself smiles.Her husband walks in takes off the blind fold and reveals twelve dinner guests 8-o

lol thats all hope you like it got anyjokes for me got this one off a website thx you laters
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With this tag in my signature I embody The Ville spirit.
With this tag on my shoulder I honor my fellow brothers.
With this tag, I am <TVB>

[sgt stutter]

Talking Clock . . .

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong . . . It's a talking clock" the drunk slurred.

A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup" replied the drunk, "A talking clock."

"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at the lifeless gong.

"Watch," the man said.

He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU A@#HOLE . . . . IT'S TEN PAST THREE IN THE MORNING!"
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click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy

[omgshovelyouinthebutt?]

lol angel, taht one came up somewhere else awhile ago, *looks at Nanite*
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[Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42]

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals. . .Why are they made of meat?

Save the whales! Collect the whole set.

Your Mamma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run away, he hates that!

I used to have an open mind but, my brain kept falling out.

A priest walked into a bar. . . he knocked himself unconscious.

For Sale: Parachute Unused. (has a small stain)
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Recipient of POTM award
Creator of Warz/Ville Golf Classic
<TVB> Member/Event Coordinator/Council - Retired
=US-V= Member/Event Coordinator - Retired
<eVa> Founding Father/Leadership/Webmaster - Retired
Ville Admin - Retired

[sharkbyte]

First off, the rumors of my appearance - in these forums - is entirely false.

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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[ANGELOFDEATH-VS-]

Thx guys i needed that. sorry about my joke though i did get it a while back on the forums just needed a good laugh thx everyone
_________________
With this tag in my signature I embody The Ville spirit.
With this tag on my shoulder I honor my fellow brothers.
With this tag, I am <TVB>

[Bada Bing]

LMAO at that 1st one
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Are you threatening me ???

[ROOFCUTTER]

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they
were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a
phone call.

The other three were discussing their children while walking to
the first tee.

"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself
in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now
owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful,
in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a
brand new home as a gift."

The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his
career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a
friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a
stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the
last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio
as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell
him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny
are, and ask what line of work his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned
out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser,
and I've just recently discovered he's gay."

As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the
bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last
three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars,
and a big stock portfolio."
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Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[Turbo!]

LMAO! that was totally unexpected!
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*Props to Mad-Hammer on the Sig*

R.I.P. Blue: Gone But Never Forgotten