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Bada Bing Registered User
Joined: 17 Sep 2001 Location: Pioneer,Ca. Guild:-TPF- Posts: 3054
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2003 11:11 am Post subject: Lawyers |
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Joe was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by
incredible
headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought
medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he
finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is that I can cure your headaches ..The bad news is that
it
will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes
your
testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the pressure
creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the condition is
to
remove your testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered whether he had anything to
live
for. He couldn't even concentrate long enough to answer his own
question,
but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left
the
hospital after the surgery he was without a headache for the first time
in
20 years, but he also felt like he was missing an important part of
himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different
person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought: "That's what I need ... a
new
suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new
suit",
and
picked one out.
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44
long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Joe tried on the suit and it fit him perfectly. As Joe admired himself,
the
salesman said, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe, and said, "34 sleeve and a 16 1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the
collar in
the mirror, the salesman said, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's feet, and said, "Let's see ... 9 1/2 E."
Joe was astonished, "How did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably
around
the shop and the salesman said, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second, and said "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "let's see...size
36."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha.! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years
old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear size 34. A 34 underwear
would
press your testicles up against your spine and give you one hell of a
headache." _________________
Are you threatening me ??? |
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Greebo Server Admin
Joined: 19 Jul 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 1673
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2003 11:25 am Post subject: |
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Never thought I'd find a use for this emoticon but:
_________________ Most evil admin around.
Offical Ville songwriter.
"Captain Smart Ass" |
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sharkbyte Ville Supporter
Joined: 16 Feb 2002 Location: Massachusetts Guild: ={jFf}-USV= & Ville $upporter Posts: 2887
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2003 11:26 am Post subject: |
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Heard it before, but always makes me laugh. gj _________________
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Replica Server Admin
Joined: 01 Jul 2002 Location: i'm a loner dottie, a rebel! Posts: 6144
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2003 11:32 am Post subject: |
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so my friend recently informed me that it is possible to sell a testicle for a large sum of money, not enough to do it but i still thought it was kinda funny. _________________ |
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ROOFCUTTER Server Admin
Joined: 12 Aug 2001 Location: =USV= Posts: 9271
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2003 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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Gizanked wrote: | so my friend recently informed me that it is possible to sell a testicle for a large sum of money, not enough to do it but i still thought it was kinda funny. |
jeezzz you would think eating rocky montain oysters would be enough... _________________ Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. |
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Stevo Ville Supporter
Joined: 08 Dec 2002 Location: Orange County Guild: TVR Posts: 9514
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sharkbyte Ville Supporter
Joined: 16 Feb 2002 Location: Massachusetts Guild: ={jFf}-USV= & Ville $upporter Posts: 2887
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Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2003 7:54 am Post subject: |
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ROOFCUTTER wrote: |
jeezzz you would think eating rocky montain oysters would be enough... |
You reminded me of the scene from Funny Farm, with Chevy Chase...
_________________
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