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N|kamichi Registered User
Joined: 01 Jul 2003 Location: New York Posts: 119
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 11:25 am Post subject: A Lesson Learned |
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Here's the story of an:
Atheist in the Woods
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps...could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice. The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to recieve and for which I am truly thankful."
"Amen."
Count your Blessings! _________________ Don't take life too seriously, no one makes it out alive. |
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Fred Astaire Registered User
Joined: 03 Jan 2003 Location: -=New York=- Guild: =B3-USV= Posts: 846
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 11:32 am Post subject: |
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Good one. Thanks for sharing _________________ for Blue |
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Mr.Kason Allen Registered User
Joined: 06 Dec 2002 Location: Somewhere over a rainbow Posts: 1002
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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Thats pretty cool _________________ Over your dead body! |
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Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 Registered User
Joined: 30 Nov 2001 Location: Dripping Springs, TX Posts: 5563
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:21 pm Post subject: |
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I would never have that problem.
I would have yelled, "Oh $h^t!!!" _________________ Recipient of POTM award
Creator of Warz/Ville Golf Classic
<TVB> Member/Event Coordinator/Council - Retired
=US-V= Member/Event Coordinator - Retired
<eVa> Founding Father/Leadership/Webmaster - Retired
Ville Admin - Retired
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Mr.Kason Allen Registered User
Joined: 06 Dec 2002 Location: Somewhere over a rainbow Posts: 1002
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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I would never have had that problem cause I would have blown the bears head off _________________ Over your dead body! |
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The Nanite Server Admin
Joined: 26 Apr 2002 Location: lost Posts: 6606
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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Violence is seldom the answer... _________________
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Blue Ruler Server Admin
Joined: 28 Aug 2001 Location: Abbotsford,BC,Canada Guild: US-V & Ville $upporter Posts: 3979
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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Was the bears name "Grace" _________________
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Stevo Ville Supporter
Joined: 08 Dec 2002 Location: Orange County Guild: TVR Posts: 9514
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Greebo Server Admin
Joined: 19 Jul 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 1673
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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*raises an eyebrow* _________________ Most evil admin around.
Offical Ville songwriter.
"Captain Smart Ass" |
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cobra Server Admin
Joined: 18 Apr 2002 Location: having fun with Loka and Tickles! Posts: 6806
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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good one. _________________ PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF =US-V= & VILLE $UPPORTER |
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ROOFCUTTER Server Admin
Joined: 12 Aug 2001 Location: =USV= Posts: 9271
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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GOD CREATED CALIFORNIA:
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He
inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is
going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over
there is a continent of black people," God continued pointing to different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot while this one will be very cold and
covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said,
"What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's California the most glorious place on earth.
There are beautiful beaches, deserts, streams, hills, and forests. The people
from California are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous
and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely
sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the
world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there would be balance!!!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in Sacramento." _________________ Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. |
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`RaphX Registered User
Joined: 24 Mar 2002
Posts: 1556
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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Blue Ruler wrote: | Was the bears name "Grace" |
Jokes like that are un-bear-able, BR. |
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cobra Server Admin
Joined: 18 Apr 2002 Location: having fun with Loka and Tickles! Posts: 6806
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Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2003 1:41 am Post subject: |
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lol ROOF! _________________ PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF =US-V= & VILLE $UPPORTER |
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sharkbyte Ville Supporter
Joined: 16 Feb 2002 Location: Massachusetts Guild: ={jFf}-USV= & Ville $upporter Posts: 2887
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 11:30 am Post subject: |
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cobra wrote: | good one. |
_________________
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sharkbyte Ville Supporter
Joined: 16 Feb 2002 Location: Massachusetts Guild: ={jFf}-USV= & Ville $upporter Posts: 2887
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 11:31 am Post subject: |
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cobra wrote: | lol ROOF! |
_________________
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