[SpeCies]

Here is mine,


SpeCies's Acceptance Speech for the Best Supporting Actron Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly believe this! I feel so horny! And this statue - it's so shiny! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to bow down before me and accept that even in my wildest AA meetings, I never would have imagined that this could ever help me get laid so much. And to the closeted homosexual nominees, I want each of you to know how totally saddened your fake smiles makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was nominated, I just had to take a minute and laugh about how freakish my fans have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda cheap

You know, there are so many ass-kissing little people to thank! First off though, I want to bitch slap the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their lint-encrusted navels before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Satan, for being such a powerful force in my contract negotiations. And to the hooker with the heart of gold, who taught me to take life by the balls. And finally, to all the illegitimate children I sired - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!


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[Violent Pacifist]

Violent Pacifist's Acceptance Speech for the Stupendous Animal Costume Design Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it's so suspiciously phallic! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to know that even in my wildest quiet times, I never would have fantasized that this could ever liberate me from dinner theatre. And to the other suck-ass nominees, I want each of you to know how totally vindicated your plastic surgery makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was not the mother, I just had to take a Carnival Cruise and scoff about how unaesthetic my thighs have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda special

You know, there are so many back-stabbing two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to thank the esteemed idiots of the Academy, who looked deep within their Magic 8-Balls before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank my guru, for being such a powerful force in my kitchen. And to the People Under the Stairs, who taught me to take life by the horns. And finally, to all the sycophantic talk show hosts - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!
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We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.

[OS]

Heh, I know the start of mine...

First of all, I'd like to thank God...

[sharkbyte]