[sharkbyte]

Post your examples here...


When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

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45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

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David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

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Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should have blown your [expletive] head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-- if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.

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R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

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Police in Chicago sent Cubs tickets to people with outstanding arrest warrants. When they arrived at the game, they were promptly arrested.
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[Replica]

omg...


there was a guy by me... i think this si true, that had gotten arrested for trying to sell drugs , and got caught by a cop that was driving by. well after he got out, the same cop was on a corner, but he said he was off duty so the guy didn't ahve to worry. Bam, back in jail. then once he got out again, same cop, same corner, except this time the cop "got fired" for what he had done before, the guy tried to buy again and back to jail for him... think he learned?
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[FragFailure]

[sharkbyte]

[(+)ASSASSIN(+)]

[Usually Dead]

Well this one isn't really funny and I don't know all the details, but it's true.

A couple days ago, a and 18-year-old hispanic man came to Utah from California to meet someone. This someone was 12 years old, and the two had agreed over a chat channel to meet and have sex. I'm not quite sure how the police found out about this, but I know the man ended up in jail.
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[5th GHG E.G. Mine]

I know a good one. See any post of mine as of late. Pure stupidity.

[sgt stutter]

Click--->Darwin Awards

Here is an example a bit graphic so be for warned.

Scrotum Self-Repair
1991 Honorable Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other then to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.
After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling, stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patients scrotum to locate the staples; admitting him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, a broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.

The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less then a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.

An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.

I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

By Dr. William A. Morton, Jr. MD, a retired urologist residing in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
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click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy

[shockwave]

[sharkbyte]

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I curled up in the fetal position just reading that.


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[FragFailure]

[shockwave]

Hey Frag Failure you can't comment on baseball until your team is at least .500 for the season. They are almost there 0.478, only need to win 2 more games in a row(which wont happen).
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[JuVaNiLe]

ahhhhhhhhhh that hurts just reading it

[Stevo]

I got one....

One man bought a new RV and took it on a trip. On the long road, he got a little hungry. So, he put the RV on cruise control and went to the back to make a sandwich while he was going along on the highway. Well, surprisingly , the RV went off the road and was destroyed. The man survived and sued the RV company!

Here's another one I thought was funny...

This lady went to McDonalds and get a cup of coffee in the drive-thru. She spilled the coffee on her lap after slamming the brakes and got burned. She sued McDonalds and now they have to put CAUTION: HOT! signs on the coffee.
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The Official TVR Website
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[JuVaNiLe]

i have already heard those stevo but still good ones