[sgt stutter]

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and
began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were
several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

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At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

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One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a "massive internal fart."
Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

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I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.
I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your
your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now
your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes
covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

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During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his
medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put
on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old
patch before applying a new one.
Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long
have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
answered, "Why, not for about twenty years--when my husband was alive."
Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

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I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your
breakfast this morning?""It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then
asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

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And Finally . . . . .

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady
upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said,
"I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song
you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy

[cobra]

nice onces sgt!
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PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF =US-V= & VILLE $UPPORTER

[Gamepro65]

lol that was halirious
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[PondScm007]

lol, but a cringing laugh... hehe
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my pic host-age died!

BR, yo

[`RaphX]

[Blown]

LOL, those are all damn funny.

[Mongoose_Slayer]

[hoaxie]

Funny stuff!!
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LONG LIVE THE 'VILLE!

[Turbo!]

I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner. Dont you?
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*Props to Mad-Hammer on the Sig*

R.I.P. Blue: Gone But Never Forgotten

[Fred Astaire]

good ones
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for Blue

[ROOFCUTTER]

It was the end of the french revolution and they were cleaning up some undesirables at the guillotine.

The first one up was a baker, The executioner asks him, " what would you like...face up or face down? The baker thinks about his job and the knives he uses and says face down I have seen enough cutting!

Ok says the executioner and straps him down...swossh goes the blade and just about half way down....it stops!

The executioner says..no no no we can not have double jeoperady you are free to go... Next.. and grease this machine.

A carpenter is brought to him and the executioner askes whats it gonna be face up or face down?? The Carpenter thinks and says, Face up, I want to see it coming.... bound and ready....swoooosh.. the blade stops with in fractions of an inch from his neck...The executioner says no no no we can not have double jepordy you are free to go...Next... more grease now!

A engineer is brought and the executioner askes, what is gonna be face up or face down...thinking the engineer says... hold on I think I see your problem...
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Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[Bada Bing]

That last one is classic ROFL
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Are you threatening me ???

[5th GHG E.G. Mine]

[cobra]

LOL nice one ROOF
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PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF =US-V= & VILLE $UPPORTER

[Usually Dead]

I'd like to know where Stutter gets all his jokes. He posts a lot of those here.


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