[OS]

(Chem)


This is getting interesting Vic. I wouldn't really have the guts to post something like this on the internet. I'm right behind ya, all the way. Good luck with the dinner tomorrow.

[Vicoden]

Bad news she called today when I was at work and canceled on me for tonight. She said that she spoke with her mother this morning and told her that we were doing better but she still had a feeling inside that something isn't right. Her mom told her to trust her feeling and to sit back and really thing about it for awhile.

I guess I could not disagree more, IMO the more she contemplates this the more "blown" out of proportion its going to get. I think that now this has gotten so built up that her feeling might not even be totally grounded on this incident. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but in a way it is kinda a hard thing for me to explain. I am really trying my best to understand her and say what I feel in my heart but it keeps coming back to a respect issue with her. I just find it hard to believe that when you have something as good as what we had it can fall apart so easily over one thing. I admit it was very disrespectfull what I said, but I also know that what I said DID NOT come from my heart. I've now completly run out of ideas on where to go from here. I am now not only up against a girl trying to protect her heart but also a mother who knows what went on and went through the same thing because she was there. She keeps coming back to that fact, yet she tore my letter apart because I unknowingly linked our problem to it in my letter to her.

Like I said in my letter to her I pretty much have reached the point where there is absolutely nothing more I can do or say to make it right again. She is going to have to find it in her heart to forgive me or forget about me, I just pray its not the latter.

Vic

[(+)ASSASSIN(+)]

Id hate to say it because I know it sucks, but if she is this unsure about the whole thing, thats most likely a precursor to the end . Dont get me wrong, youve got to try what you can to fix the situation, but be careful that if you do get back together that its because she truly wants to and is comfortable with the idea, otherwise this same exact thing is going to happen again a few weeks or months down the road. Also keep in mind that she is only 20, and she most likely has no clue about what she truly wants in life yet, hell im the same age as you and I still have no clue. Good luck in getting things worked out, but make sure you work it out under mutal means, forceing the situation is only going to cause more problems down the road. GG
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Killing is my bidness ladies and BIDNESS IS GOOD!!!!

[Vicoden]

I agree with you assassin, I have thought alot about what it is going to be like if we got back together. Alot of me wants it just because that is where my heart is, but part of me wonders if there would be a weirdness between us. I would feel for a long time like I was under close observation and any little thing I did would be scrutinized. But I guess that is a risk that I would like to take. I guess somewhere in my brain I am saying let it go, there are lots of women out there and you could be setting yourself up for a bigger fall. But a big part of my brain is telling me forget all that and try your best for another chance, you may not ever find a girl as great as this.

Correct me if I am wrong but I think that no matter how much you are in love with someone there is always going to be at least the slightest bit of doubt in your head. Thats why everyone gets the wedding day jitters and such. I guess because of that reason I am putting my doubt in our love 2nd to the belief in our love. I think I'll give her a call tomorrow, the message she left for me today at the end said call me if you want to, not to mention tommorrow is our 6 month anniversary.

[OS]

As hard as you try, Vic, it's all gonna come down to her in the end. Maybe if you ease off her a little bit, and give her a little time, she might come to her senses. But, hey, what do I know, right?

[three_gunn]

whats up vicoden...sounds like you and i can help each other out. my relationship of 5 years ended towards the end of january..it was a mutual break up...but painful. it was my first time in 5 years that i had to celebrate my birthday and valentines alone. i didnt want anything for my birthday...i just wanted her to be next to me. well...enough rambling from me...what im trying to say is...we should talk. just to help release/relieve/reduce the heartache you and i are experiencing. it brings a tear to my eye to see so many people from the ville, come together to help support you with wise words...i dont know too many myself cause im still trying to pick myself up..but theres one thing i do know..and thats to never disconnect yourself from everything else thats important to you. it'll just add more problems and worrys.

[DukeNukem]

Vicoden:

I wish I lived near where you are at so I could converse with you (and maybe her too) face to face. My wife and I went through some of this kind of thing before we got married (although not about a rude comment).

[GellyRoll]

[Vicoden]

Thanks so much for all the great replies, I never thought so many of you would contribute to this topic. I know lots of others have gone through or are going through the same as I, so its great to hear your opinions no matter if you think its good or not. In the last 6 years I have had 2 relationships that have both lasted 2 1/2 years and a bunch that only lasted a couple of months. I have put in my time dating, and shopping around for the right type of girl. That is why I am holding on so tight to a six month old relationship. I know what is out there and I know what I had, and how hard it is to find what I had. It is amazing that in a world that only gets bigger and better everyday, that it can be so hard to find something as primative as true love.

Well....another day went by, she called me today on my way home from work. Lately I don't know what to think anymore when I see her name come up on the caller I.D. Is going to be good news or bad, is this it....is it now officially over, or will she take me back. So... I answered and she asked if I would like to go for coffee or dinner, of course I agreed immediatley.(against the best wishes of my mother)

So we met, had dinner, and talked about our day and what has been going on. I told myself not to bring up anything about the relationship, just act normal and wait for her to bring it up. Didn't have to wait long, before dinner got to the table she was saying "so i've been thinking" She didn't really say anything new except that she was pretty much over what has happened and that instead of being mad at me about it, she thinks it triggered her instead to take some time and really think about what she wants in life. She went on to say the last couple of years she has jumped from relationship to relationship with out much time alone. She also spoke to her Grandmother today because she realized she needed someones opinion that for one, didn't have a father like hers, secondly has been married for 30 or 40 years and third knew Ariel well enough to be of help. Her Grandmother said that she is young and needs put time into herself and think about who she really is, instead of investing all her time in relationships. Good advice.....yes, what I wanted to hear...No.
Like I kinda said, my mom pretty much wants me to let it go now, she is afraid if we go back out in a while something else will trigger something and I (as well as her) will get hurt again.

In a way, I am glad it got resolved now to the point where she didn't end the relationship because of what I did. Yes, it may have triggered it but, she ended it because of the confusion and the time she needs (however long) to think about what she really wants. She needs time to hang out with her friends and concentrate on what she wants to do for living what she wants to study in college. I guess in a way it wasn't like I was holding her back, but more of a distraction. Even though many, many, many times I told her to spend more time with her friends and other people besides me. In 6 months there might have been 2 days where we didn't see each other. I didn't mind, I don't have alot friends, I have always rather had a girl to always hang out with, instead of a bunch of guys. Amazingly in those 6 months we never once got sick of each others company, and those 2 days we weren't together we missed each other immensely.

Sooo we talked for hours tonight, once the restaurant closed she came back to my place and we continued talking. Now she is the one that feels really bad because I love her so much and I want nothing more than to spend more time with her, but she needs time to think. Don't get me wrong, she still loves me and cares for me....thats where the confusion comes in. She doesn't know if taking a break is what she really wants to do. My suggestion was to keep on dating and stay true to each other. But cut down on the amount of time we spend together. Maybe just go out one night a week, talk on the phone a couple times a week, but keep it simple, put the fire out but keep the coals going so to speak. She has a hard time expressing herself when in person with me, she freezes up and has a difficult time thinking about all that is being said. But she truly listens and hears every word I say, so tonight when she left she said she would think about my suggestion. Don't worry, I am not naive, I know very well that I could just be prolonging the end but it is hard to give up when your heart doesn't want to. Well thats whats new, I'll let ya know what happens the next time I hear from her.

[Bright Red Nipples]

Sounds like progress nonetheless. I think you handled it very well.
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God Bless You Blue Ruler

[KopiKat]

What anchovies has said is exactly true. Its just going to take time, things like this take time. Also three gun can give you some solace, he is going through a similar thing right now, as well as me. I promised you that I would tell you whats goin on with me, so ill tell you now.


This started the week before last, it happened between a girl i know(who is the girlfriend of one of my closest friends). One day, out of the blue, one of her friends just comes up to me and tells me that I am getting too touchy feely with her and that I need to back off her. I was like, "What are you talking about, I have no idea what you mean," and I didn't. So I ask this girl, and she says its true that I am making her feel uncomfortable by "touching" her. It really bewildered me, because I had literally no idea what she was talking about. Then this totally crazy accusation comes up that I "reached my hand up her pant leg" or some crazy shit like that. This totally caught me off gaurd. It scared the hell outa me. So I talked to the girl, and I asked her what she meant, and she says that I was "touching her in ways that only her boyfriend(one of my closest friends) was supposed to" At this point I got pissed, I had NO idea what she was talking about, so I didn't talk to her for two or so days. She is a friend of mine, a good one at that, but nothing else. She still wanted to be my friend and aparently she said I hurt her by not talking to her. I was thrown into a state of dissarray, I was totally confused and no one was telling me anything. Then I find out that my close friend(her boyfriend) is pissed at me because of the aparen't aligation that I was "touching her". I tried to work things out between us, but he just got more pissed, so I left him alone for a while. Then all of this girls friends get all pissed at me because of what I had been aparently doing. They start harassing me to the point that I stopped eating, couldn't sleep, and was afraid to come to school. Finally my close friend throws me a bone and believed me when I said I had no idea of what was going on and that I never did anything that I was being accused of. Then me and this girl try to make peace with one another, which works for a VERY short period of time, but then her friends get involved again and start screwing things up. They make her pissed again, and start yelling at me ocne more, one in particular. Finally I break down and admit to something I didn't do, which was touching her. This is a serious blow to my mental stamina, but I let it slide. I sent her a really heartfelt letter and said im sorry, and I never meant to hurt you, and stuff like that, a really genuine letter from the heart. At one point I say in the letter that her friends were just trying to start a fight with me, and thats why I wouldn't talk to the lot of them. Anyhow she accepts the letter and forgives me, thus ending this conflict between me and her, and my close friend. However, her other friend gets wind of this letter, and gets REALLY pissed at me. I used to be friends with this girl, but then she stabbed me in the back over this whole thing, which cancelled our friendship right then and there. She continue's to harass me for another few days, further weakening my mental constitution and my sanity. Finally it gets to the point that I just couldn't take it anymore. I said sorry for what ever it was that I said that "insulted her"(of which I never said), I just let her stab in MY back slide, I just let HER insult ME, I let HER call ME a back stabber, and I let her dictate my life to me, adding insult to injury. At this point im about ready to kill myself, but I regained my senses and just calmed down. Then she left me alone and things aparently have been ok so far. Anyhow, thats my struggle.

Don't feel so bad there Vico, you aren't the only one.
If we can all make it through this, it will be a testiment to what true love and tolerance really is.

-KK
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[Magic Anchovies]

Vicoden,
I've read through the ENITIRE subject replies and all, i saw the turmoil form the beginning to the end, Now that you have something to hold on to, Make it concrete. This is just me, But if i was in the same situation,(even though my longest relationship was 3 months, don't know if your crazy enough, I Certainly am), I'm telling you to change your personalily but add to it. I don't know how abtract your thinking patterns are but I would totally act, unpredictable take a walk with her, but dress so as that ALL attaention is appointed to you, so she may have the Voyeur perspective, walk by a gas station and buy a flower and say " It was the bestest one they had without FLIES!" With a BIG on your face. Put a Smile on her face at ever possible moment, Those of you who have me on MSN messanger : azurewarrior@hotmail.com Check my profile and read my Favorite quote at the bottom.

Vico, In my Nursing Course @ Ottawa University i have a class on Developmental Psychology and we are studing ( IS GOING TO BE ON My MID TERM NEXT TUESDAY ) realtionships with people and different permeabilities, to skip the Big words and jargin after time (YEARS) Her thinking patterns will change and become reinforced, not allowing her to become upset so easilt and she might even reinforce it so much that she will be impermeable to " negative things". Remeber Keep her smiling it's the best pain tranquilizer on the planet, check my profle on MSN you will knwo what i mean, Later dood Good Luck, Bonne Chance, Buono Fortuna!
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Look! HAHAHAHAHA

[FragFailure]

Whatever you do. Make sure you confortable with your decision in long run. Without devulging too many past fiascos. I've been in situations where the girl "thought" I said something (which I didn't) and things went bad from there. A few others lied/cheated just for the sake of causing drama. People might wonder why I'm jaded about it. SilverOne's heard a rant or fifty of mine. Love is a risk/reward thing.
_________________
Yes, I'm still around


- PWG member 2001
- TVB founder and leader 2001-2004
- The Ville's Vegas Bashes I-V
- T.V.L. (Ville TFC League)
- The Originator of the Off-Topic Posts

[(+)ASSASSIN(+)]

[FragFailure]

Chicago women is all you need to know.
_________________
Yes, I'm still around


- PWG member 2001
- TVB founder and leader 2001-2004
- The Ville's Vegas Bashes I-V
- T.V.L. (Ville TFC League)
- The Originator of the Off-Topic Posts