How is everyone doing?

Hosway[CJP] · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 2:53 pm Post subject: How is everyone doing?

*Sigh* I just came to check how everyone is doing.
As for me, I've not been myself latetly. Let's just say that if you dared me to commit suicide, I would attempt to do it...
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Hosway[CJP] is now Doppelgangster.
Come, let's talk with swords!

Dahak · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 3:18 pm Post subject:

Hang in there man. Good things will come along. good to hear from you though.

5th GHG E.G. Mine · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 3:33 pm Post subject:

GellyRoll · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 7:35 pm Post subject:

sorry to hear that. Good things will happen to you like he said

sorry
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(+)ASSASSIN(+) · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 8:02 pm Post subject:

DOOD, good to hear from you again, where ya been hiding? anyways everyone one has a down time in there lives, just remember there is nothing in this world thats worth killing yourself over, because once your gone, your gone for good

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Killing is my bidness ladies and BIDNESS IS GOOD!!!!

Meat Juice · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 8:06 pm Post subject:

Hello CJP,

I'm truly sorry you feel this low right now that thoughts of suicide have come into your mind. I can not and will not get into a conversation about suicide with you because of the dynamics involved with internet chat. However, I would strongly encourage you to seek help. This starts with talking about how you feel to people in their physical form. There are Crisis Line phone numbers in the front of almost all phone books of most municipalities. They listen to what you have to say and if your comfortable, refer you to people in your community that can help you. All lines that I am aware of are confidential. Alternatives to Crisis Lines are friends and family. Your family doctor is also not a bad place to go when you feel this downas he also can refer you to people who can help you. Until then, try to believe that it can get better.

Take Care,

Meat

JtH · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 9:19 pm Post subject:

meat has a good idea and i think you should follow his advice. When my parents divorced i felt like i wanted to die. it was one of the worst things to be torn between the two people that you love. i talked to my mom and told her how i felt and she just smiled and a tear streaked across her face and she held me close. it was one of the happiest and saddest moments of my life but it made me wanna stay. i realized that i couldnt leave her and my brother and here i am. i realized its not all that bad after all. she really made me think and realize what is really important to me. i still get upset about the situation but with one little tear she changed my life and ever since then i knew that even when i feel the lowest that there is someone there who would feel worse if i wasnt there. shes my motivation now because i want to make her proud. i want to follow my dream of being in a band and im slowly but surely making it. ive played guitar for years now and i really feel happy. she always lets me practice even if its ear piercingly loud cause she knows its my escape from it all. when i play guitar nothing else matters and i feel at peace. if even for a little bit. when she was growing up her father commited suicide and on september 9 2001 my uncle did the same. i may have lost an uncle but she lost a brother and i know i could never do that to her. correct me if im wrong but i believe that you draw and if i remember correctly you are a talented artist. use that as your escape if you cant find anything else to ease your pain. when im upset i just pick up a guitar and it goes away. try and find a way to vent like me. here are the lyrics to one of the songs i wrote, maybe i can be some inspiration to you:

Im a fool to think any of this matters,
Bruised, bound and broken.
And left in tatters
If I try to work this out
No matter what I say
I cant see this through
I cant get through to you
Bruised bound and broken
And nothing heard that I’ve spoken

But now im stronger
I know im stronger now
And I can take anything
I can face anything
Even something as faceless as you

this was written about my feelings during that time of my life. My feelings were faceless and i couldnt get through to myself. its still unfinished but im working on it. i blamed everything that happened on myself and i couldnt get through but then i realized that it wasnt my fault. and i made it through.

i hope that somehow with my words i may have changed the way you feel because life is precious and im damn glad im here. my hopes and dreams are that i may change people and help them the way my mother helped me. its what i needed at that time and i hope that what i wrote is maybe just what you need. If you ever need anything, and i mean anything, im here for you bud. and that goes for anyone. if you ever need a hand or someone to talk to. all of you villuns are family to me and i will do anything that will help you guys(and gals) out.

the wounded
jack
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Turbo! · Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2003 9:51 pm Post subject:

Talking to someone will help. Trust me. One of my best friends was in this same situation and I had to talk her out of it. She eventually took my advice and got help. She is so much happier now.

The sooner you find help, the sooner you sill start to feel better.

-Gould
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*Props to Mad-Hammer on the Sig*

R.I.P. Blue: Gone But Never Forgotten

Hosway[CJP] · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 2:22 pm Post subject:

First I want to say

Thank you jack, meat, and everyone. You've all strenghten my spirit.
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I was having this conversation with my mother, and she feels the same way that I feel when the family crisis really wounded us. She wished that she had a gun to her head. But she didn't because she refused to give up on the one child who never gives up. The one child who is still in school learning not just agebraic problems and solutions, but mistakes from what his brothers have committed. That child that wouldn't settle for less. That child is me. And I pray to god that she and my father will be there for me until I can make it on my own. Then I can repay them back for all the good things they've done for me.

Bottom line,
-as long as my future is full of positive things as my mother promised me, then I won't think twice about suicide again
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Hosway[CJP] is now Doppelgangster.
Come, let's talk with swords!

JtH · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 2:33 pm Post subject:

i think today chronics world got a little bit brighter, as long as the suns shining he will be here. im damn glad.
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(+)ASSASSIN(+) · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 3:49 pm Post subject:

Congrats man your already 10 steps ahead of the game, keep in mind that motivation often times comes from the strangest places.
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Killing is my bidness ladies and BIDNESS IS GOOD!!!!

Mr.Kason Allen · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:43 pm Post subject:

Well accually you won't be gone forever of course you won't get to vist earth again but if you folow God then you get to live forever happy and if you don't wellllllllll let's not think about what would happen then

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Over your dead body!

Turbo! · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:48 pm Post subject:

Remember to always keep your eyes on the prize

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*Props to Mad-Hammer on the Sig*

R.I.P. Blue: Gone But Never Forgotten

Verman · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 9:59 pm Post subject:

Some well penned words here by all. Having been down a similar (although not as final) path before, I can speak to the value of family, friends, and the professional help available to everyone. Time will heal most anything; Attitude and support will certainly help in the recovery. Even though times may be dark, and the path of return to brighter times is rutted and obscured, there is so much out there to live for.........
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Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell.

SpeCies · Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:56 am Post subject:

Did not plan on posting! But you my friend need a reality check! Don't state crap like that until you think about all the thing's in life some take for granted. What may seem to be bad rightnow to you others have it worse. You need your ass kicked dude for even stating that comment. If it's your way of reachingout for help Email me and I will enlighten you if you want too compare lives since I've been there, thought about it and I found out that life is better when your breathing and sharing it with the people who you love and care about you.

Besides, don't you give two shifts about what that would do to your Mom and Father and Brother ? Kind of selfish there don't you think .... Use your drawings to release what's bothering you guy, you would be amazed on what creativity will be inspired by ones inner emotions. Art with expression has to grow from something you know

as far as the motivation behind it anyway!
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