Thoughts on Marriage

Bada Bing · Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2003 11:40 am Post subject: Thoughts on Marriage

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?

The other women replied, Yes, I am; I married the wrong man.

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool
when I married you. She replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice.

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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: Husband wanted. Next day
she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: You can have mine.

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than
to let her keep him.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married? And the father replied, I don't know son, I'm still paying.

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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Then there was a man who said, I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; by then it was too late.

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A woman was telling her friend, It is I who made my husband a
millionaire.

And what was he before you married him? asked the friend.

The woman replied, A billionaire.

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

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How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done and meals cooked for
free.
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Are you threatening me ???