Only in America

The Nanite · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 12:11 pm Post subject: Only in America

THE STELLA AWARDS

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards.

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

The following are this year's candidates:

1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.

The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7. And this year's favorite is: Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed, and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.

The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
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masterclif · Registered User Joined: 04 Dec 2002 Posts: 52

This is called: Justice system gone wrong.
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Bada Bing · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 1:32 pm Post subject:

You might not win but you can sue for just about anything nowadays

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Are you threatening me ???

sharkbyte · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 1:47 pm Post subject:

I don't think there is anything coherent, or meaningful, that can be said about these people.

I only wish there were some sort of natural selection with human beings.

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Greebo · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 1:50 pm Post subject:

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm

Snopes rules
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sharkbyte · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 2:01 pm Post subject:

Thanks, Greebo.

Very insightful. Particularly about that McDonalds case.
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The Nanite · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 2:15 pm Post subject:

Rock on Greenbo!

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DukeNukem · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 2:35 pm Post subject:

Please send all comments about these "cases" to the law firm of:

Dewey, Cheetum & Howe
666 Pluto Lane
Hades, NY 12345
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Wood · Registered User Joined: 24 Jun 2002 Posts: 190

You know, I spent a lot of effort a while ago to track down a story about a golfer who had been eaten by an alligator in Florida, and it also turned out to be false.

Does anyone know of a website devoted to debunking urban legends and false mass emailings?
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Greebo · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 3:24 pm Post subject:

Hrm.....I dunno.....

Snopes Perhaps?

http://www.snopes2.com if the above doesn't work.
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Offical Ville songwriter.
"Captain Smart Ass"

Mongoose_Slayer · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 3:36 pm Post subject:

lol, those are great

5th GHG E.G. Mine · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 3:38 pm Post subject:

Ah, yes. The American legal system, where it's not about whether it's really right or wrong, it's by how much you win.
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Vigilante · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 6:03 pm Post subject:

i came across a list of really stupid laws, like in some cities if you are walking with more than 5 people you need a parade permit from the town/city.
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-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mongoose_Slayer · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 6:46 pm Post subject:

SpeCies · Posted: Fri Dec 06, 2002 6:47 pm Post subject: Re: Only in America

These have to be my favorite Bushido 5 and 6. But, what I found to be a major case of "Dumbass" was this, Remember the Quadriplegic guy that is in florida. This guy sued an establishment over him not having access to the their Private Lap Dance area. For what! Just to have the dancer sit and grind on his lap ? Women already think that they have us by the *alls as it is with what they have between their legs. So, I'll be damned when the day comes when I sue an establishment over not being able too have a women sit on my lap for my money. When this day comes is the day that this dancer better have the "Golden Coochy" that is going too get me backup and on my feet once again. Until this day arrives? I'll sit outside the club with my sign that reads "I'll have sex with your wife/girlfriend" while their husbands enjoy the strippers #Beammeup-alien

5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.