[sgt stutter]

should be required to wear signs, as a warning to the rest of us. It's kinda long, but funny

PS - Please note that, in several cases, other people were able to
recognize these beauties even without their signs - and take appropriate
action! Cheers for them!


Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation
happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
into the emergency room right away!
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
river, they were surprised to see a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator beacon that was activated when the raft was inflated. They are
no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Idiot # 3
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note
and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line - back at Bank of America!

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days
later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Another sign!

Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
the shelf. He told the cashier to put that in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
said he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it
over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21, and he put the Scotch
in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The
cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
later.
Remind me to have more signs printed up. Give this guy his!

Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.

Idiot # 7
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Oh, that smarts!
Give him his sign!

Idiot # 8
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. Frustrated,
the man walked away.
(Please note that these people are allowed to vote! Not only that but
they are allowed to reproduce!)
_________________

click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy

[Darkath]

LOL, great stuff sgt. Idiot #4 is ze best
_________________

^^^ Clicky

[Secret Agent Man]

omg that stuff is funny.... great thing to pas the time im computer graphics.. lol i like idiot # 2 the best... LOL thanks for the luaghs
_________________
if you think thats a soldier behind you? think
agian, or my knife will be in your back.


aa, oshiete sensei-san