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Special High Intensity Training (For those who work)

 
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{Focus}LUNT
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Joined: 08 May 2002

Posts: 36

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 7:34 am    Post subject: Special High Intensity Training (For those who work) Reply with quote

Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep
all employees well trained through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than
anyone else. If you feel that you are not receiving your fair
share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You
will immediately be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T. List,
and they are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the
S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS
(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T)

Since our Managers took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,
and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in job
training others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.)

If you have any other questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING.
(H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)

Thank You,

BOSS IN GENERAL,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
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terreo
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Joined: 28 Jun 2002

Posts: 16

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lmao thanks i needed that laugh
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terr=winz!@#%^#@!!11
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bobins
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Joined: 09 May 2002
Location: UK, England Guild: CoN.FuSeD
Posts: 1865

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 8:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol
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three_gunn
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Joined: 04 May 2002
Location: Hawthorne, CA
Posts: 424

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahhaha...suhweet...thanks man...lol what a way to start the friday....
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BitterBeerFace
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Joined: 17 Jan 2002
Location: Mankato, MinneSNOWta
Posts: 1416

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL, yeah, that's some good stuff! I've got one of those that I modified for students... when I get home from work, I'll post that

I gotta go sit through a BULLSHIT session, spam ya later
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Computer
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Joined: 15 Feb 2002
Location: Dah A T L
Posts: 1336

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very very funny. I was glad to see that when I came home. Always good to breeze through the forums and get a good chuckle
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anthrex
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Joined: 21 Aug 2001
Location: Berkeley, Cali
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahahahah
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BitterBeerFace
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Joined: 17 Jan 2002
Location: Mankato, MinneSNOWta
Posts: 1416

PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2002 4:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*** HIGH PRIORITY ***

TO: ALL STUDENTS
FROM: MnSCU BOARD OF DIRECTORS
SUBJECT: STUDENT HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest level of student work and productivity, the board has formed a new policy to put all students through as much STUDENT HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (SHIT) as possible. We would like to give all our students more SHIT than any other university system.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on campus, please consult your advisor. You will be immediately placed as high on the system-wide SHIT list as possible. The administrative system is being organized so students get all the SHIT they can possibly handle.
Students who don’t take their share of SHIT will be placed in DEVELOPMENTAL EDUCATION EVALUATION PROGRAMS for STUDENT HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (DEEPSHIT). Those students who still fail to get into DEEPSHIT will have to be enrolled in EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (EATSHIT).
Since our administrators and instructors should have taken their share of SHIT while in school, they don’t need to do SHIT anymore, and are plenty full of SHIT already. Some of the administrators and instructors who are incredibly full of SHIT have been asked to conduct a series of BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LESSONS (BULLSHIT). It is strongly suggested that all students attend as many BULLSHIT sessions as possible. Students who show a great tolerance of SHIT will be assigned to help with the dispersion of SHIT to others. These SHIT jobs are good experience for students heading into the workplace and will look good on resumes.
A new level of administration will be added to all campuses headed by the DIRECTOR of INTENSITY PROGRAMS (DIPSHIT). Each campus’ DIPSHIT will be chosen on the basis of being able to give those around him/her an astonishing amount of SHIT.
If you have any questions your campus DIPSHIT can not answer, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, STUDENT HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (HOTSHIT) on the MnSCU Board of Directors.

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, STUDENT HIGH INTESITY TRAINING (BIGSHIT)
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