Quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Linktodeath · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:12 pm Post subject:

List your favorite quotes from the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." If you haven't seen it... GO SEE IT!!!

By the end of this i expect to see every line from the movie.

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<---- LinktoDeath-TPF-VS-

Linktodeath · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:14 pm Post subject:

To start off here is a portion of the coconut scene... word for word...got it myself.

-What ridden on a horse?
-Yes.
-You're using coconuts.
-What?
-You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging 'em together!
-So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia. Through-
-Where'd you get the coconuts?
-We found them.
-Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
-What do you mean?
-Well, this is a temperate zone.
-The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in the winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
-Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
-Not at all. They could be carried.
-What, a swallow carrin' a coconut?
-It could grip it by the husk.
-It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of wieght ratios? A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut!
-Well, it doesn't matter! Go and tell your master that Auther from the court of camelot is here!
-Listen, in order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wing 43 times every second. Right?
-Please!
-Am i right?
-I am not interested.
-It could be carried by an African swallow.

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Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:42 pm Post subject:

"I'm not dead." "I feel fine".

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Violent Pacifist · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:43 pm Post subject:

Here's the HOLY HAND GRENADE!!!

-Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
-Like what?
-Well... ooh.
-Have we got bows?
-No.
-We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
-Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him. Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!

(monks chant as the holy hand grenade is brought out)

-How does it, um-- how does it work?
-I know not, my liege.
-Consult the Book of Armaments!
-Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
-And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
-Skip a bit, Brother.
-And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
-Amen.
-Amen.

Goldom · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:57 pm Post subject:

PFft Monty Python nothing.

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/sounds/anus.wav

Chan · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:58 pm Post subject:

I scoff in your general direction

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OSU Snipe Shocker · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 6:59 pm Post subject:

here we go...

The minstrels-"Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away. When danger reared his ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, he turned his tail, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by Sir Robin."

The Black Knights BEST LINE-"Come back here, you! I'll bite your legs off!!"

King of Swamp Castle-"Look Alice..."
Prince Herbert-"Herbert!"
King of Swamp Castle-"Herbert..."

Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice! And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays...]
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

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I WAS (back in august of 02) just better than you, thats all.

BitterBeerFace · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 8:06 pm Post subject:

What's wrong with you? She's got HUGE......... tracks of land!

Brujah · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 8:39 pm Post subject:

for her punishment you shall spank her... and then you can spank me

(sue me I'm a perv) >

Thom Yorke Obliterator · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 8:51 pm Post subject:

"She turned me into a newt!"

[doubtful stares]

"It got better . . ."

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CyC0Dad · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 10:16 pm Post subject:

I'm not dead

BitterBeerFace · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 10:53 pm Post subject:

CyC0Dad · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 11:33 pm Post subject:

_________________
I Fear that events have forced us to become enemies.
What a pity that we couldn't have gotten to know each other under different circumstances.
Then we could have become enemies of our own free will.

CyC0Dad · Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 11:58 pm Post subject:

Now go away before we taunt you a second time.

Just a flesh wound.

Red, NO Blue....

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Minstrel Singing: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to being mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes carved out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: THAT'S, that's quite enough, Minstrel.

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Brujah · Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2002 12:05 am Post subject: