[EXILE OF KILAAK]

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF, I AM EXILE OF KILAAK. I HAVE ACTUALLY LIVED ON EARTH FOR SOME TIME PREPARING FOR THE COMING INVASION. WHILE MY INVADING BRETHREN OWE ME A GREAT DEAL FOR MY ADVANCE SCOUTING, THEY FELT MY ADOPTION OF YOUR SPELLING AND LANGUAGE SKILLS MADE ME A COLLABORATOR AND HAVE EXILED ME FROM MY HOMEWORLD. IN RETROSPECT, PERHAPS I SHOULD NOT HAVE SPENT SO MUCH OF MY TIME ON EARTH FREQUENTING LITERARY CIRCLES AND DEVELOPING MY OWN WITTY, SARCASTIC STYLE OF WRITING BOOK REVIEWS.

NEVERTHELESS, I DESPISE ALL HUMANS AND WELCOME THE WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER THE INVASION WILL UNDOUBTEDLY CREATE. DESPITE THEIR LACK OF ELOQUENCE, MY SCREECHING, SPITTING, MOUTH BREATHING COLLEAGUES ARE CORRECT. HUMANS, IN POINT OF FACT, ARE QUITE PUNY. THEY ARE ALSO, HOW SHOULD I SAY? INADEQUATE IN THEIR MANLY ENDOWMENTS WHEN COMPARED TO KILAAKS. WELL, AT LEAST WHEN COMPARED TO THIS KILAAK. HAHA, I AM SO DROLL.

SO IN SHORT, I MAY HAVE BEEN KICKED OFF THE PLANET KILAAK, BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM CRUSHING ANY HUMANS I MEET BENEATH MY STYLISH FERRAGAMO HEELS.

SINCERELY YOURS,

EXILE OF KILAAK

[Kilaak Stooge]

SILLY EXILE, I CAN SPELL VERY WELL TOO. I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING THOUGH, I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW TO TURN DOWN MY UNVERSAL TRANSLATOR.

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No....I'm the Civilized one.