[Cadman]

I thought everyone might benefit from this. I did. It helps me understand why I am feeling the way I am.

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The grieving process usually consists of the following stages. Note that not everyone goes through all these stages.

Denial and Shock
At first, it may be difficult for you to accept your own dying or the death of a loved one. As a result you will deny the reality of death. However, this denial will gradually diminish as you begins to express and share your feelings about death and dying with others.

Anger
During this stage the most common question asked is "why me?". You are angry at what you perceive to be the unfairness of death and you may project and displace your anger unto others. When given some social support and respect, you will eventually become less angry and able to move into the next stage of grieving.

Bargaining
Many try to bargain with some sort of diety. They probably try to bargain and offer to give up an enjoyable part of their lives in exchange for the return of health of the lost person.

Guilt
You may find yourself feeling guilty for things you did or didn't do prior to the loss. Forgive yourself. Accept your humanness.

Depression
You may at first experience a sense of great loss. Mood fluctuations and feelings of isolation and withdrawal may follow. It takes time for you, to gradually return to your old self and become socially involved in what's going on around you.

Please note that encouragement and reassurance to the bereaved will not be helpful in this stage.

Loneliness
As you go through changes in your social life because of the loss, you may feel lonely and afraid. The more you are able to reach out to others and make new friends, the more this feeling lessens.

Acceptance
Acceptance does not mean happiness. Instead you accept and deal with the reality of the situation.

Hope
Eventually you will reach a point where remembering will be less painful and you can begin to look ahead to the future and more good times.



[ This Message was edited by: Cadman on 2001-09-18 20:01 ]

[kamikaze]

You know cadman, this is exatcly right. Many of you don't know that I am a military brat. During my junior year my family transferred to Misawa, Japan. Here I fell in love with a girl and we started dating. About 5 months in she died suddenly of a brain anneyurism. I was devestated and talked to conselors who told me this exact process, which, at times, I saw myself going through. Healing just takes time.

[ROOFCUTTER]

Good job Cadman thanks

[ This Message was edited by: ROOFCUTTER on 2001-09-18 22:12 ]