Joke of the Day er early morning.

Pornstar · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 4:42 am Post subject:

A husband and wife are palying a round of golf one day. When the wife says "honey we have been married for 50 years now, how about we start the next 50 years with a clean slate and tell the truth about our past".

Husband "are you sure"

Wife "yes"

Husband "ok I'll go first, you remeber that blonde secretary I had 17 years ago, well I had an affair with her."

Wife "Ah thats nothing, I had a sex change before we got married"

Husband "Why you lying pig, all this time I have been letting you tee off from the red tees"

For those non-golfers. There is three sets of tees. Advanced-Black or Gold Mens-Red or White Womens-White or Blue

Tommy.Chong · Registered User Joined: 19 Dec 2001 Posts: 283

Man an a woman are sittin in their house.Its very cold outside.The man walks through the house an says to his wife "Im goin to the bar get your coat on" The woman gettin excited says "Oh do i get to go this time" The man replies "No your not goin but im cuttin the heat off"

Pornstar · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 5:04 am Post subject:

Haha good one,

A couple of buddies are playing golf, when a funeral precession goes by on a road by the golf course.

One guy takes his hat off and covers his heart while the cars go by.

The other guy noticing this says "wow that is noble of you"

The first guy says "will its the least I can do since we were married for 30 years"

Tommy.Chong · Registered User Joined: 19 Dec 2001 Posts: 283

Arguing online is like competing in the Special Olympics. Win or Lose your still a tard.

MunkeyEye · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 7:37 am Post subject:

From Eddie Murphy's "Raw" standup comedy...(the only non-vulgar joke!)

A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the forest. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks "Do you have a problem with shit getting stuck on your fur?"

The rabbit says "No."

And then the bear picks the rabbit up and wipes his ass with it.

John Doe · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 11:09 am Post subject:

Gents, some of these are a tad over the line.

Try this one.

Two blondes walked into a bar.....

You'd think the second one would have noticed it.....

Snaggletooth · Guest

Here's one I use every once in a while.
What's the difference between a duck?

ROOFCUTTER · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 1:30 pm Post subject:

One of its legs is both the same

LilBigCip · Registered User Joined: 20 Jul 2001 Posts: 174

Confucious say: "Man who have hole in pocket have right to feel cocky."

_________________
Did you say chest chamber?

Tommy.Chong · Registered User Joined: 19 Dec 2001 Posts: 283

LilBigCip · Registered User Joined: 20 Jul 2001 Posts: 174

what do you call a blonde with half a brain?

gifted

what do you call a blonde with a whole brain?

golden retriever

_________________
Did you say chest chamber?

Bubba · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 6:42 pm Post subject:

Check this out!

Texas firing squad

http://www.jokes2000.com/jokes/files/joke9233.htm

[ This Message was edited by: Bubba on 2002-01-06 18:43 ]

FingerDemon · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 7:10 pm Post subject:

Okay,

This blonde is walking in a field and sees another blonde in a boat in the middle of the field, rowing. She calls out, "What the hell are you doing?"
The blonde in the boat replies, "I'm trying to row to shore!"
The first blonde answers, "You IDIOT! You're just the kind of dumb blonde that gives the rest of us blondes a bad name. And if I knew how to swim, I would come out there and kick your ass!"

Of course, I am compelled by the training I received in my mandatory corporate diversity training classes to say that this joke is not meant to offend anyone and is not indicative of any actual or perceived deficiencies of mental acuity in persons of the blonde persuasion. (God, I hate those classes).

FingerDemon

Bakuryu · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2002 7:36 pm Post subject:

Hehehehe jokes

.
Ok, this guy(we'll call him Bob) goes to his doctor to get his appendix removed. The operation goes well and the doctor realizes that he left an 8 inch tool inside of Bob. Bob found out and sued the doctor and got $500,000. Now for the real part of the joke, what's the difference between Bob and my girlfriend???????????????

My girlfriend doesn't sue when I leave my 8 inch tool inside her

LilBigCip · Registered User Joined: 20 Jul 2001 Posts: 174

uhhh u mean 8 milimeter

_________________
Did you say chest chamber?