Man Test

sgt stutter · Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 1:38 pm Post subject: Man Test

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to
all of these questions. However, women will also benefit by
reviewing them, so that they get to understand men and thereby
enrich their own lives.

1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth,
and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of
intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but
incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all
disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out
hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and
violence all over the entire earth. You decide to:

A. Present it to the President of the United States.

B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.

C. Take it apart.

2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do
you miss the most?

A. Innocence

B. Idealism

C. Cherry bombs.

3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow-minded social conventions.

B. When he is the Pope (but not on the lips)!

C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the
only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business
reasons, you have to have him killed.

4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A. A cat.

B. A dog.

C. A dog that eats cats.

5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's
attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her.
One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy.
You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when
she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she
thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She
says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only
whether you believe that you have some kind of future together.
What do you say?

A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future,
but you don't want to rush it.

B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a
lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out
false hope.

C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on
third and seventeen.

6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you
want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys
and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you
tell her?

A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.

B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing
through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.

C. Tell her what?

7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks
you to get your three children ready for school. Your first
question to her is:

A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"

B. "They're in school already?"

C. "We have three of them?"

8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new
holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally
intended for your legs.

B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules
and has to be handled with tweezers.

C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy
checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not
naming names, (but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to
discard his underwear.

9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

A. Democracy.

B. Religion.

C. Remote control.

10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for
the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for
forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

A. He was being tested.

B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when
they finally got there.

C. He refused to ask for directions
_________________

click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy