[John Doe]

EGM Magazine took a handful of kids from 10 - 13 and sat them down with alot of the games that us older regs played when we were younger, much younger. Things like Pong, Donkey Kong, Tetris, Missle Command and More.


The comments on the various games are hilarious.

Check out the article here:

http://www.egmmag.com/article2/0,4364,1338730,00.asp


Here is a blurb from the article.


Your average gamer these days is in his late 20s—young enough to still find new ways to destroy brain cells, old enough to worry about bills and 401ks, and wise enough to reminisce about the good ol' days of videogames. But was the age of Pong, Atari, Mattel handheld football, and Donkey Kong really all that great, or are we just blinded by fuzzy, warm nostalgia?

That's the question we asked—and answered—back in the November issue of EGM, in which we rounded up nine children of the PlayStation generation—ages 9 to 12—and forced them to play a variety of titles from the late'70s to the mid-'80s. Now read what the little scamps had to say, plus check their comments on a bonus game—Super Mario Bros.—that got cut from the EGM article. If you grew up with these classics, prepare to feel very old.

Note: Everything written here was actually said by these kids. Really. The only change we made was to remove the more gratuitous usages of the word "gay".



Pong
Atari • 1975
Atari's home version of its simple ball-and-paddle coin-op became the first smash-hit console and made videogames a new pastime in the swinging '70s.


Niko: Hey—Pong. My parents played this game.

Brian: It takes this whole console just to do Pong?

Kirk: What is this? [Picks up and twists the paddle controller] Am I controlling the volume?

John: I'm just going to do this [twists the paddle controller as rapidly as possible].

Tim: John, don't do that. You'll die.

Andrew: This is a lot like that game. Um, whatchamacallit—air hockey.

Sheldon: Except worse.

Andrew: Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip.

Becky: I don't even see the point of having sound on this.

Andrew: Wow. The score is tied. It's so exhilarating.

Brian: I saw a documentary on this. The game was so popular in arcades that it got jammed up with quarters.

John: In this thing? [Points to the Pong game console]

Tim: I would never pay to play something like this.

John: I'd sooner jump up and down on one foot. By the way, is this supposed to be tennis or Ping-Pong?

Becky: Ping-Pong.

Gordon: It doesn't even go over the net. It goes through it. I don't even think that thing in the middle is a net.

Tim: My line is so beating the heck out of your stupid line. Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops.

John: Tim, how could you miss that? It was going like 1 m.p.h.

Sheldon: Hey, why does it say Sears on the controller?

EGM: Sears sold it for Atari.

Andrew: Isn't Sears, like, a clothing company?

Becky: Sears makes everything. Actually, I've never been in there.

EGM: Guess how much this thing cost when it came out.

Kirk: Twenty bucks?

EGM: Higher.

Brian: $50?

EGM: Higher.

Brian: $100?

EGM: Yep.

Kirk: My God—I could almost buy a PS2 for that. I'm sure when this came out, it was better than whatever else was out. Want to play chess with me, son? No way, Dad.

Brian: I want to play Pong!

Tim: Oh, I'm starting to suck. John, you drained my skill.

John: Yes, I used a power-up.

Tim: What? There's no power-ups in Pong. The concept of a power-up hadn't been invented yet.



It gets better, read the article



JD
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[Stevo]

lol funny. I guess games aren't fun anymore without amazing graphics and lots of violence. I've played mario on the original Nintendo and it was pretty fun and challenging. The console thing rarely worked though.
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Fopp
Song of the Week

[Kazebari]

O.o THAT'S HILARIOUS!! ROFL!

[Bright Red Nipples]

Thanks JD. I had that game when it came out
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God Bless You Blue Ruler

[Kazebari]

and the part where the guy said "hey, that's from super smash brothers"

and the other guy replied "Yeah, that's where they took it from"

ROFL!!!


priceless!!!

[Chan]

I feel so old for still having the original SMB and the original Intruction manual, even some coming soon posters for the tetris NES version....

[-(UberMAX)-Max Power]

ah the joys of the early Nintendo ages...brings back many fond memories, speaking of which (goes and finds NES and hooks it up)
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Keeper of the Peace
www.ubermax.com

[JtH]

ROFL!!
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[Replica]

[sgt stutter]

EGM: Who's that chick Mario is rescuing up there?

Brian: It's Princess Peach.

Kirk: It's a hooker.

Niko: She looks cut in half.

Tim: Oh wow—she's one of those pole dancers.

ROFLMAO

Good find JD
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click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy

[Violent Pacifist]

While I agree that that was pretty funny, it lost it's comedy after some deeper thought. This event may have been one, whole, unaltered experienced, but it's doubtful that these kids said these things off the top of their little minds.

In total, there were only 2 children accounted for there that had actually managed to reach the earliest of the teenage years. It seemed that almost all of them knew some various discriminatory and/or offensive words including but not limited; gay, piss, and shit. They also had some basic or complete understanding of words such as kill (with an AK-47, of course), pole-dancer, and hooker. The terms hooker and pole-dancer were also used in such a way that you could assume they know what one looks like as well. After finishing your travels through the dirty little minds of these pre-teens, we'll guide you through their more intelligent vocabulary. These children understood words and phrases such as corporate sabotage, unfashionable, remotely, bestowed, predictable, Zeus and Acropolis, and collectable trading cards (mainly because a normal kid shouldn't say this). Now note that these kids could probably write these things down and understand them (save for Acropolis. WTF kind of 12 year old kid knows what that is/was and uses the term in the sentence, "Zeus is taking you off to the Acropolis"?). But they're saying these things off the top of their head, while playing a game.
Also, how could they not know what some of these games are? They're confused about Space Invaders and Tetris. Any child that has never seen or played tetris before his double digit years is not human. Take into account as well these children's extremely lack of intelligence. They ask the stupidest questions and state the stupidest things, yet some how manage to maintain a vocabulary beyond the IQ these questions and statements should permit.
Now, after all that thinking, here's some more for you. These children obviously all enjoy cursing, teen or mature games, guns (one even made mention to a glock), killing, explosions, and hookers. Is that your average pre-teen child? Some would say yes, but I say no. Also, these kids parents don't seem to care too much for their mental well being. If they did, a certain said child would not know what hookers are, or be allowed to play GTA. They also would probably prefer that their 10 year old child is not exposed to these things either (not to say normal parents should/do shelter their child. He's only 10 after all). Put all this together and cook it, and you've got something that smells much more like a planned dinner, rather than an idiot's convention BBQ.

BTW, the burgers at that convention were SPECTACULAR!
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[Violent Pacifist]

[Speaker's Xeno]

i have to agree with vp even though it hurts to do that but i think that this thing most likely and probably is a hoax. i mean hell i have never even heard of "Zeus is taking you off to the Acropolis" i mean dont get me wrong i HAVE heard of Zeus but wtf was/is/could be Acropolis and i mean im a big greek mythology fan (granted i dont read about it in my spare time) but none the less i mean i think that this->"Andrew: Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip." was probably the only thing that they really said...lol
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[Speaker's Xeno]

i have another thing to add for some reason when i read the article it gives me the urge to kill all the kids in there and to laugh uncontrollably


Brian: A flower grew!

Kirk: Piss on it.

Tim: Oh look—it's a dork!

i mean wtf...lol...kill...lol
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[Violent Pacifist]