A Song, by my band

DJ George · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:43 am Post subject: A Song, by my band

Here is a recording of one of my bands orginal songs, It is done at a practice and is only a demo. It was done about 2 years ago. I have some newere stuff but my mp3 encoder is not working right for some reason. It was orgianlly suposed to be the opening track to a rock opera we were going to do, set in medieval times. But we scraped the idea and are now rewritting the lyrics (There goes $30 that we paid for the copyright, now we will have to get a new one) The song is called closer than brothers (We are re writting the lyrics in a way to keep the orginal title. I have also changed the organ at the end to a synth. And ignor the piano part, had the wrong chords given to the kid so it sound off

Closer Than Brothers
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Violent Pacifist · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:54 am Post subject:

Drumset needs some kind of echo, singer needs a bit of work. A little bit of happier jumpier music would make a nice change as well imho. There's also some kind of weird do-dat-dat-do in the background after the double cymbal crash. You should make whatever that is have a shriller tone most of the time. I acxtually liked the organ part

Maybe change the rythms on it though. It might just be the way you recorded it, but the singer seems to be the main focus of the song. Try getting him farther into the background.

There's my 2 cents

[edit] I think you should try keeping a more constant base as well. Base is always good

[/edit]
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Bright Red Nipples · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:20 am Post subject:

DJ George · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:51 am Post subject:

Violent Pacifist · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 3:12 am Post subject:

Doh! Yeh, I meant bass.

And I wasn't really expecting a grand performance from what I'm guessing is a garage band. I was just mentioning a few things that came to mind

A good room to record in and a good recording device to fix a lot of the problems I mentioned (but as I said, I didn't know if they were just playing that way or if the rewcorder really was bad). If you can, digital editing is always a good thing. I downloaded a very nice trial program awhile ago called "Cool Edit Pro". Has to be the best sound/music editer I've seen that doesn't cost a ton of money right away

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GellyRoll · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 8:52 am Post subject:

itdidntworkforme

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Hamese · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:39 pm Post subject:

You can always do the poor mans copyright.

Take the copyrighted item, in this case the lyrics and the demo tape, to the post office. Put them in an envelope and have it postmarked and shipped back to you.

Then you have the postmarked UNOPENED envelope as evidence, and the courts reconize the USPS postmark as valid proof of the materials existance.
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Tw3|v · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:42 pm Post subject:

good stuff

Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:43 pm Post subject:

I'll give you an A for effort.

I won't pick it apart but I will say, you don't seem to flow together as much as you could.

It sounds like several different instruments rather than a molded band. It could just be because you were practicing. I know how it is. Be concious of your levels and how they effect everyone else. Even if you are in the same key, someone who is too high can sour someone elses notes. Adjust your hardware levels before attempting to adjust them with the soundboard.

Note: Don't spend money on copywrites unless you are truly happy with the song as a finished product. As long as you have a dated hard copy, it is legally your song. You can get official dates from a notary. Trust me, it saves money in the long run. Eventually, you will have to copywrite to be 100% safe.

This is a great site that breaks down copywrite information on a basic level: http://www.bandreg.com

FragFailure · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:59 pm Post subject:

Well by singing a song or two myself. It's easy to sound shitty vocal wise.

If I were the producer on this song in a semi decent studio.

- Keep the lyrics the same

- The song is desperate need of rhythm guitar. The organ shouldn't be the primary instrument but should be on par with the guitar. The guitar solo is good...keep that. He should have more if a presence during the verse and chorus.

- The bassist doesn't do bad with the double picking he does. He could do a few more fills besides that.

- The drums he plays are ok, but he needs to change it up at times to keep the pattern interesting.

I think it's a good rough draft to start with. Keep working on the song and mess around with it. The only way to improve is to practice, experiment with sound and tempo on it.
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FragFailure · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:05 pm Post subject:

I'd post a Frag & SilverOne Permanent Zero song, but I'd have to OK with it him first.
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shovelnose · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:16 pm Post subject:

i agree with everything the above people have said. i really like the idea of a conceptual album, its a very difficult thing to undertake, so big up's to you for the effort. i also have a band, you can check us out some of our songs at www.mp3.com/fearofgrey. let me know what you think

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Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:18 pm Post subject:

Yeah, it's almost reminiscent of Jethro Tull.

All you need is a flute.

[edit]Just let my drummer listen to it. . . he said it's a cross between Jethro Tull and Stixx and your drummer needs some caffine.

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SpeCies · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:37 pm Post subject:

Hmm, a mixture of Rush and Survivor not bad but in serious need of some changes.

(1) You need a chorus for the background to take some of the vocals away from your singer (Lead: Tighter than Brothers) (Chorus:closer than family)your leads voice is either going through puberty natural changes or he just cracks when going up high. Definitely needs a female touch.

(2) The instruments at the beginning start off together nicely but as the song goes on it's just to repetitious. You really need to get some Bass bigtime.

(3) I would recommend adding a flute to your leads part that surrounds ancient colonial times. The organ is used way to much to the point that it's drowning out the focus of the song= Singer and Bass !

Imagine a flute with a chorus here-

"Two distinct personality's raised together as one. What keeps them together side by side is a mystery. Nathanial the noble son a matter of Jedi"(I cannot makeout the lyrics here)

Anyway I have to roll now. I'll listen to it more later.
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FragFailure · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:43 pm Post subject: