Some are funny.

DreadVile · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 1:42 pm Post subject: Some are funny.

Most of these are at least mildly amusing. Some are a little lame.

1.Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own
pants.

2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol
content.

3. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative

4. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
Implants?"

5. I don't do drugs anymore because I find I get the same effect just
standing up fast.

6. Sign in a CHINESE Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

7. I have my own little world. But it's OK ... they know me here.

8. I got a sweater for Christmas... I really wanted a screamer or a
moaner.

9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

10. I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get
elected.

11. The most precious thing we have is life...Yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.

12. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dumb head's.

13. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes,
make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...
now THAT'S a message!

14. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

15. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

16. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

17. I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been
giving me lately!

18. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I ve stayed alive.

19. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
rabbits on the highway?

20. The differences between snowmen and snowwomen are snowballs.

21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

22. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

23. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

24. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

25. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
for Miss America?

PondScm007 · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 2:39 pm Post subject:

heh
19. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come there are so many roadkill rabbits on the side of the road?
_________________
my pic host-age died!

BR, yo

Stevo · Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 5:39 pm Post subject:

sharkbyte · Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2003 11:13 am Post subject:

They were all mildly decent.

gj
_________________

Mongoose_Slayer · Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2003 11:14 am Post subject:

funneh