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Whatever
Registered User
Joined: 16 Aug 2001
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 297
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 Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2003 7:12 pm Post subject: Wal-Mart Urinalysis |
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WALMART URINALYSIS.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
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Been chasing since May 2001!
Play under the names...Darlon Jeel, The Ghost, The Spirit, and <NSA>Whatever |
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DJ George
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Joined: 25 Mar 2003
Location: Where the music is loudest
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Stevo
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Joined: 08 Dec 2002
Location: Orange County Guild: TVR
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`RaphX
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Joined: 24 Mar 2002
Posts: 1556
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2003 5:53 am Post subject: |
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 nice one! |
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PondScm007
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Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Location: central nj
Posts: 963
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2003 8:39 am Post subject: |
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hahaha
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my pic host-age died!
BR, yo |
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cobra
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Joined: 18 Apr 2002
Location: having fun with Loka and Tickles!
Posts: 6806
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2003 8:50 am Post subject: |
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PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF =US-V= & VILLE $UPPORTER |
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Mr.Kason Allen
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Joined: 06 Dec 2002
Location: Somewhere over a rainbow
Posts: 1002
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2003 9:16 am Post subject: |
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KEWL
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Over your dead body! |
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Dominator
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Joined: 18 Apr 2002
Location: Unknown
Posts: 411
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2003 10:37 am Post subject: |
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ROFLMAO!!!! 
hahahahah |
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Replica
Server Admin
Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Location: i'm a loner dottie, a rebel!
Posts: 6144
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2003 10:40 am Post subject: |
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heh
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Potato-VS-
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Joined: 16 Jul 2002
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 1562
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2003 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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Hha thats soo good....
<TVB>Potato-thh- |
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NewbieMMMI
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Joined: 16 Jan 2002
Posts: 71
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2003 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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 Hilarious ending
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Oni
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Joined: 20 Apr 2003
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2003 6:21 am Post subject: |
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| OMG! LOL! |
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Dahak
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Joined: 10 Feb 2002
Location: Rochester, NY and Windsor, CT
Posts: 923
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2003 7:12 am Post subject: |
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| Whatever wrote: | | 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. |
reminds me of pug or jthm |
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