Words Women Use - A Mans Guide

John Doe · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 8:52 am Post subject: Words Women Use - A Mans Guide

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not ! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

FragFailure · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 8:56 am Post subject:

The sad thing is that this is usually true. Women can't ever say what they mean. They enjoy the "code."
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Greebo · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:13 am Post subject:

Lol that's great
And as frag says it is true...they're unwilling to be direct and you need at least 2 years to learn the code!
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shockwave · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 10:07 am Post subject:

The Nanite · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 10:09 am Post subject:

I shouldn't have sent this one to my girlfriend....

...it's going to be a cold night on the couch tonight!

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cobra · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 2:36 pm Post subject:

5th GHG E.G. Mine · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 3:36 pm Post subject:

Let's ask the Magic 8-Ball if that's true:
(Shakes Magic 8-Ball)
HELL, YEAH. THAT'S SO DAMN TRUE!
Thank you, Magic 8-Ball. Once again, your words are true.
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Bright Red Nipples · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:05 pm Post subject:

Replica · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:18 pm Post subject:

no code, no peace.... know code, know peace....

i hate those bumper sticker. code can be repalced with all sorts of things, leik love or knowledge or jesus, or anything some hippie may want on their bumper
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_-=Did It Hurt=-_ · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 10:03 pm Post subject:

I would say this is all true except someone is looking over my shoulder right now. ...............................................................

(she's gone)
Hell ya its true !!! %&^$#%@))_

she came back in

<edit> No its not true honey I was trying to be funny.

didn't work.

<2nd edit> she said yiour such a shit and hit me.

Is that good???
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shockwave · Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2003 10:41 pm Post subject:

5th GHG E.G. Mine · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2003 12:06 am Post subject:

cobra · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2003 1:39 am Post subject:

Bright Red Nipples · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2003 8:40 am Post subject:

GellyRoll · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2003 8:58 am Post subject: