[JohnCarterofMars]

Dear Friends

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 piperspiping have been arrested for doing weird
things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling
birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree
have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this! Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and
some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to
Walmart before everything is gone.

Love,
Santa
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JohnCarter, Warlord of Mars

[JohnCarterofMars]

BTW, this letter sounds hauntingly familiar.... Kinda like JD sounds when he gets on a RANT... JD are you Santa?? You damn near live at the North Pole!
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JohnCarter, Warlord of Mars

[cobra]

so funny. LOL that one
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PROUD TO BE A MEMBER OF =US-V= & VILLE $UPPORTER

[Replica]

11 lords and 8 maids... looks like someone got the shaft.. well at least 8 but that nots what i meant, not quite that way!! , what i mean is if my calculations are correct, and unless the lords joined along wit the elves, there were 3 veeeery lonely lords, lol
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[Dominator]

lol
Sound like santa is having a wild time trying to get his stuff together, As for the other 3 lords, i feel pretty dang sorry for them, i wonder what they did....gross hahah Sounds like a crappy christmas again lol jk

[(+)ASSASSIN(+)]