Rules from the man’s side

sgt stutter · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 3:13 pm Post subject: Rules from the man’s side

At last a man has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the men’s side of the story; we always hear "the rules" from the woman’s side. Now here are the rules from the man’s side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
_________________

click--><eVa>SuperGreg

R.I.P Trigger Happy

Stevo · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 3:20 pm Post subject:

That sound like a good set of rules. It's all basic logic.

_________________

The Official TVR Website
Fopp
Song of the Week

crackhead_fred · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 4:01 pm Post subject:

Awesome find Sgt! Every last one of those are true!

Kjeldorian Royal Guard 42 · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 4:11 pm Post subject:

KillerRoofcutter · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:23 pm Post subject:

um i have seen that many times but still funny...
_________________

PICKACHU GOT OWNED!

Caveman · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 7:42 pm Post subject:

About time someone put it in writing.

_________________

pithikos · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:24 am Post subject:

FragFailure · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:01 am Post subject:

She will sleep on the couch, not me. These are all correct...probably why I am still single.
_________________
Yes, I'm still around

- PWG member 2001
- TVB founder and leader 2001-2004
- The Ville's Vegas Bashes I-V
- T.V.L. (Ville TFC League)
- The Originator of the Off-Topic Posts

vTEC · Server Admin Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Posts: 1495

lol hit it right on the spot
_________________
I am TheCheat

Rebel_Rouser · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 9:20 am Post subject:

thats really good

_________________

Longest Running Show in Broadway History 1/9/06

Secret Agent Man · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 10:43 am Post subject:

i feel the same way frag.. ITS MY HOUSE!
_________________
if you think thats a soldier behind you? think
agian, or my knife will be in your back.

aa, oshiete sensei-san

Bull · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:37 pm Post subject:

Hey Stut.. I found the cure for the john lid thingy..

Just sprinkle a little on the seat at night before you hit the sack..

_________________
"I Cant HEAR YOU"

I am a proud member of PETA (People who Eat Tasty Animals)
AKA: I Come In Peace
and WalMart Security

"Get-r-Done"