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shockwave Server Admin
Joined: 26 Feb 2003 Location: Drunk in the corner in some Texas bar. Posts: 1970
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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Top ten reasons Canadians (read Canukistans)complaints about Americans.
10. Won't acknowledge enormous cultural contributions of Howie Mandel
9. We're pretty sure they're holding Wayne Gretzky down there against his will
8. Every time we mention the city "Regina," they won't stop giggling
7. Incredibly, they only have one word for "snow"
6. In American encyclopedias, Canada often called "North Dakota's gay neighbor"
5. They call it American cheese, even though it was invented by Canadian superstar Gordon Lightfoot
4. They've never even heard of our most popular superhero, Captain Saskatchewan
3. Two words: "Weird Al"
2. Sick of that gap-toothed loser on "The Late Show with Paul Shaffer"
1. Not enough guys named "Gordie" |
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Kahlan Amnell Queen of Spam
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Location: work...ahhhhh Posts: 3424
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 11:44 pm Post subject: |
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If College Students Had Written The Bible
1. The loaves and fishes would be replaced by pizza and chips.
2. The Ten Commandments are actually only five - but they are double-spaced and written in a large font, so they look like ten.
3. The Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
4. Paul's letters to the Romans would become Paul's e-mail to the Romans.
5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
6. The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather finals.
7. Tower of Babel blamed for foreign language requirement.
8. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a freshman.
9. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed. _________________
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Kahlan Amnell Queen of Spam
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Location: work...ahhhhh Posts: 3424
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 12:48 am Post subject: |
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YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE 80'S IF:
- You know what a "burnout" is.
- You know what "Sike" means.
- You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".
- You know that another name for a keyboard is a"Synthesizer".
- You can name at least half of the members of the elite "BratPack".
- You wanted to be a Goonie.
- You felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got in trouble for sex with minors andvideotaping it, because you liked him.
- You know who Max Headroom is.
- You wore flourescent, neon clothing.
- You could breakdance, or wished you could.
- You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
- You Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"
- Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
- You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
- You wanted to be on StarSearch.
- You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose felloff.
- You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someonewho did.
- You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on it's ass
- You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout".
- You HAD to have your MTV
- You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future".
- You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name".
- You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
- You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
- You have heard of Garbage Pail Kids.
- You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called"Prince".
- You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" tobe.
- You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
- You own any cassettes.
- You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on themoon.
- You remember And/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from PizzaHut or any other stupid collection they came out with.
- Poltergeist freaked you out.
- You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
- You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
- You know what a Doozer is.
- You wore bike shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish,or knewsomeone who did.
- You ever had a Swatch Watch.
- You had a crush on one of the Coreys (Haim or Feldman), or knewsomeone who did.
- You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
- You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
- You know what a "Whammee" is.
- If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend,are a "Child of the 80's". Send this to anyone that would appreciate goingback to this wonderful decade... _________________
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Kahlan Amnell Queen of Spam
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Location: work...ahhhhh Posts: 3424
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 12:49 am Post subject: |
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Top 10 things that sound dirty at thanksgiving but aren't:
10. "Reach in and grab the giblets."
9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
3. "It's cool whip time!"
2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
And the number one thing that sounds dirty at thanksgiving but isn't...
1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out. _________________
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shockwave Server Admin
Joined: 26 Feb 2003 Location: Drunk in the corner in some Texas bar. Posts: 1970
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 1:30 am Post subject: |
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Kahlan Amnell wrote: | YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE 80'S IF: |
I actually thought 85% of those things.... |
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Turbo! Registered User
Joined: 05 Jan 2002 Location: Mt. Vernon, Wa Guild: TVR Posts: 1395
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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You know whats pathetic? I got several of those rejection lines in a recent break-up. Turns out she had the hots for her ex who is also one of my best friends. Women are so strange... _________________
*Props to Mad-Hammer on the Sig*
R.I.P. Blue: Gone But Never Forgotten |
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Gamepro65 Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2001
Posts: 710
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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Kahlan you must of read this site
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
explains everything about women including the #1 rejection line (that ive gotten so many times i dont want to think about) I like you only as a firend. IF you havnt seen it, then read it, tis is quit funny _________________
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5th GHG E.G. Mine Registered User
Joined: 02 Jan 2002 Location: Transcending 1337. Posts: 1426
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 12:32 am Post subject: |
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Kahlan Amnell wrote: | YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE 80'S IF:
- You know what a "Whammee" is. | That show ruled, I don't care what anyone else says. _________________ http://www.chronixradio.com |
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Caveman Server Admin
Joined: 09 Sep 2003 Location: Southern CA Guild: <eVa> Posts: 419
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 12:37 am Post subject: |
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5th GHG E.G. Mine wrote: | Kahlan Amnell wrote: | YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE 80'S IF:
- You know what a "Whammee" is. | That show ruled, I don't care what anyone else says. |
No whammee , no whammee, STOP!!!!! _________________
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KopiKat Registered User
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 923
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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Gamepro....that site has changed my life....
I never knew i was "friends" with so many girls, and i had no idea that i had no chance with any girl in a 1000 mile radius....
-KK _________________
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Gamepro65 Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2001
Posts: 710
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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lol kopi, im sorry, i r in the same boat _________________
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Kahlan Amnell Queen of Spam
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Location: work...ahhhhh Posts: 3424
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KopiKat Registered User
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 923
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:53 am Post subject: |
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The ultimate girl getting machine: A geek with the body of a football star
I have a bright future ahed of me......(j/k)
-KK _________________
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Kahlan Amnell Queen of Spam
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Location: work...ahhhhh Posts: 3424
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 1:29 am Post subject: |
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Top 10 Reasons to Go to Work Naked
10. No one ever steals your chair.
9. Gives bad hair day a whole new meaning.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
6. You want to see if its like the dream.
5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
4. Id love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.
2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
1. Your boss will never say, I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00 ever again. _________________
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Last edited by Kahlan Amnell on Tue May 17, 2005 4:44 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Stevo Ville Supporter
Joined: 08 Dec 2002 Location: Orange County Guild: TVR Posts: 9514
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